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Falling in love is a very intense feeling, one that can make you happy, scared, and sad all at the same time. And one of the worst fears that arise when we fall in love with someone is that they may not share those same feelings.

The science of why people fall in love is confusing and also surrounded by controversy. However, there are tips and tricks psychologists and science say to increase your chances of getting someone to fall in love with you. So, if you are smitten over someone new, and you want to make them love you, keep the following tricks in mind.

Understanding and managing your emotions, as well as empathizing with others, plays a significant role in forming deep connections. “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” by Daniel Goleman is a comprehensive guide to understanding emotional intelligence and its impact on relationships.

1. Make eye contact when talking to them.

Harvard psychologist Zick Rubin carried out a study, and what he found was that people who are in love make eye contact more frequently when talking. Since people often mirror the behaviors of others, try to make eye contact with your new beaux to increase your chances of them falling in love.

2. Focus on your similarities.

Research shows people are more likely to go for someone they have similarities to than they are someone who is unlike them. When you are talking, and you notice things you have in common, bring it up. Let them know about your shared experiences.

3. Show an interest in them.

M. Gary Neuman, a psychotherapist, and author, says that people enjoy when others take an interest in them, rather than switching the conversation around back to themselves. So be careful not to be a conversation hog, and genuinely listen. Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection” encourages readers to embrace their vulnerabilities and imperfections, which can foster authenticity in relationships.

4. Make them feel appreciated and special.

Out of all of the people Neuman has talked to, he says that 48 percent of couples express not feeling appreciated. Strive to make your new love interest feel appreciated, and they will likely fall for you.

5. Smile.

Research shows that smiling makes you more attractive, and more magnetic to others. And oftentimes, people associate your happiness with their feelings, so when they think of you, they will feel happy.

6. Touch them.

Touching people (casually not creepily) gives them an intimate feel for you, and in turn, makes them feel more comfortable with you. So casually touch your crush on the arm while talking, or brush up against them. If you do, Neuman says they will likely fall for you. For those interested in the scientific aspects of love and attraction, “Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love” by Helen Fisher offers fascinating insights into the biological and psychological forces behind love.

7. Embrace their passions.

Don’t just show a genuine interest in someone’s hobbies and interests, try to get involved. The more you embrace someone’s passions, the more they will feel bonded to you, because they are sharing a part of themselves they feel vulnerable about.

8. Leave a bit of mystery.

Don’t give all of yourself away at once – leave parts of yourself for them to discover and be intrigued about. If you do, they will feel like your a puzzle they need to solve, and they will continue trying, thus making them more interested in you. Mindfulness can enhance the quality of your interactions and help you remain present and connected with your partner. “The Mindful Couple: How Acceptance and Mindfulness Can Lead You to the Love You Want” by Robyn D. Walser and Darrah Westrup explores how mindfulness practices can improve relationships.