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In our society, there is pressure placed on women to be sweet, to be nice, and to be people pleasers. We are always told we should play nice, quieten down and keep to ourselves – but the thing is, doing so will get you nowhere good.

In relationships and the dating world, a lot of us have this misconception that we should act a certain way, otherwise, we fear we won’t get the guy. However, a man worth having is going to want you to honor yourself, not trample all over your self-respect to get the guy. While we may think playing the ‘nice girl’ is going to get us our happy ending, we are sabotaging ourselves. Below, I am going to go over 8 nice girl habits all women need to break immediately.

1. Cancelling your plans to accommodate him.

When you are dating someone new, and you are trying to get to know one another, there is always the temptation to put everything else aside to spend time with the new person. But, if you’ve already made plans, and he calls you last minute-when you say, “Okay, sure. I’ll cancel my plans,” it only makes you look like you lack self-respect and respect for the people you made plans with. Not only that, but it sets a precedent that the wrong guy may take advantage of.

2. Saying yes to a relationship, too soon.

Meeting a new person is awesome-the sparks are flying, you are discovering who they are, and it’s easy to get swept up. The thing is, it takes time to get to know someone. If you try to jump into the deep end too fast, it makes it seem like you are desperate. Any decent person will want to take their time and build something organically.

3. Having sex before you are ready.

The pressure to have sex with someone almost immediately is so high. In movies, we see people having sex on the first date and think if we don’t do that, we aren’t going to get the guy. Not even just that, but making him wait is a surefire way of testing his intentions. If he doesn’t want you because you wouldn’t have sex sooner than you were comfortable with-his intentions weren’t good.

4. Saying yes to everything.

When you want to make someone happy, out of fear of losing them, it can be tempting to say yes every time they ask us to go somewhere or do something. The thing is though, you need to maintain your own life and establish boundaries. There is absolutely no way you can say yes to everything – and that is perfectly okay. He will respect you a lot more if you are open about what you can and cannot do.

5. Invest more time in the connection than he does.

Another misconception in our society is that women are the ones who put more effort into a relationship. We often see girls calling back to back, chasing after the guy, and doing everything to get the guy- but when you start putting more effort in than he does, the balance in the relationship gets skewed. If you are putting in more effort because he isn’t putting in any-the fact of the matter is, the relationship is never going to work.

6. Giving a second chance that is not deserved.

If he lies to you, cheats on you, hits you, or continues to disrespect your boundaries-don’t give him a second chance. I’m not saying that people don’t change and yes, there are exceptions. But deep down, you know if he’s worth the extra chance or not.

7. Pretending to be someone else to appease him.

When you get into a relationship and begin to change your taste in music, clothing, and everything in between, it can make you appear flaky. You don’t have to change who you are to be happy with someone. People can come from different worlds and find happiness together. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not.

8. Self-diminishing behaviors.

When he compliments you, and you say, “Oh, well, I’m not all that,” you are diminishing yourself. People tend to believe us when we talk badly about ourselves enough, especially in the beginning. He doesn’t know much about you, so if he thinks you are special, and you brush it off and say, “Nah, I’m not much of anything,” he might just take your word.