In this life, we tend to go through a lot, that includes something known as rejection. Being rejected in general makes a person feel awful and can have serious effects on their self-esteem.
The more you are rejected in life the more afraid of it you may become which can really close you off in this world. We as humans all tend to be afraid of rejection on some level but those who struggle with it the most tend to be quite anxious and in many ways isolated as well.
A big part of our fear of rejection may be our fear of experiencing hurt and pain. Our aversion to unpleasant experiences prompts behaviors that don’t serve us. We withdraw from people rather than risk reaching out. We hold back from expressing our authentic feelings. We abandon others before they have a chance to reject us.
Being human, we long to be accepted and wanted. It hurts to be rejected and to experience loss. If our worst fear materializes — if our catastrophic fantasy becomes a reality, and we’re rejected — our organism has a way of healing if we can trust our natural healing process. It’s called grieving. Life has a way of humbling us and reminding us that we’re part of the human condition.
If we can notice our self-criticisms and tendency to sink into the shame of being a failure and accept our pain just as it is, we move toward healing. Our suffering is intensified when not only do we feel hurt, but we think something’s wrong with us for feeling it.
The more we fear rejection the more we lie to ourselves. Below I am going to go over some of those lies. If you’re thinking or saying these things to yourself, you need to make some changes. Trust yourself and build a world around you that you are comfortable in.
8 Lies We Tell Ourselves When We Are Terrified Of Rejection:
1. “I am not good enough.”
You’re allowing your own sense of fear to tell you this to keep you from doing something you really want to do. You don’t feel like you’re good enough because you cannot quite see your own worth. You are good enough and you can do whatever you put your mind to.
You will find someone when the time and proper person come forth. Don’t rush into anything but don’t close yourself off. You don’t have to talk to everyone you find attractive but approaching someone you’re interested in and sparking a conversation is a great idea. At the very least you gain a friend.
3. “I am so ugly.”
You are not ugly. No one in this world is ugly, we are all beautiful in our own ways. While you might not like hearing that, it is true. The things that make you unique also make you beautiful in every sense of the word.
4. “The past will always haunt me.”
The past is not something we should allow to hold us back. It will only come back to haunt you for as long as you allow it to hold power over you. If you let go and move on, it will finally be over with, you can let go if you truly want to.
5. “I don’t deserve to be loved anyway.”
You deserve love in all senses of the word. Love is something every human or living being on this planet should experience. You might not have someone by your side right now but when the time is right things will fall into place. You deserve so much more love than you could ever imagine.
You might not be as smart as some people but you shouldn’t sell yourself short. If something you’re trying to learn is a bit too hard do some research and try at it again. We are all capable of learning the things that we need to learn and you can become smarter if needed. Never feed into self-doubt.
7. “I’m too old for that/to do that.”
There is no age limit for fun. Get out into the world and spend time doing things you enjoy. Just because you’re not a kid doesn’t mean you can’t experience the world.
There are plenty of people out there in this world who will understand you more than you could imagine but you will never find them if you do not put yourself out there. Be yourself above all else and open up to those who show you that they care. You cannot get what you want if you never try to find it in the first place.