Manipulative individuals often use certain phrases and tactics to gain control over others. By understanding these tactics, you can better protect yourself and maintain autonomy in your relationships. Here are seven things people might say when they want to control you, paired with recommended reads to help you navigate such situations.
- “Everyone else thinks so.”
People who want to control often use peer pressure or the assumed opinions of others to sway you. By making you feel isolated in your beliefs or feelings, they hope to push you into agreement.
How Not to Care What People Think: The 4 Secrets to Staying True to Yourself – click here.
- “You’re just too emotional.”
By invalidating your feelings or emotions, a controlling person tries to make you doubt your perceptions and reactions, making you more pliable to their influence.
Embracing Emotions: A Guided Affirmation Journal for Youth Navigating Through Feelings, Friendship, and Inner Strength – click here.
- “I’m only saying this for your own good.”
This phrase is a classic guise for unsolicited advice or criticism, suggesting that the person knows better than you do about what’s best for you.
Recommended Read: Deciphering Intentions: Recognizing Genuine Care vs. Control
- “If you loved me, you’d do this.”
Using affection or the threat of withheld love as leverage is a manipulative tactic to make you feel obligated to act in a certain way.
- “You remember things wrong; that’s not what happened.”
This tactic, known as gaslighting, is used to make you doubt your memories or perceptions, destabilizing your confidence in your own recollections.
The Manipulation Bible: The Dark Side of Communication – click here.
- “I do everything for you.”
By highlighting their efforts or sacrifices, the controlling person tries to make you feel indebted to them, often to get you to act in accordance with their wishes.
- “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
Minimizing your concerns or feelings is a way of devaluing them, pushing you to second-guess your reactions or decisions.
Understanding the underlying motives behind these phrases can empower you to recognize and stand up to manipulation. With the right tools and knowledge, you can protect your autonomy and maintain healthy, balanced relationships.