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Family is supposed to be your haven, your support, and your encouragement, embodied by the individuals closest to you. Unfortunately, however, that is not always the case.

For some, being around family is an excruciatingly painful experience. Rather than being met with love, hugs, and support, they are met with ridicule and toxicity. It can be an extremely difficult thing, to have to deal with a toxic family. And for many, the idea that their family members are toxic may not be something they have even realized. When you grow up surrounded by toxic people, you can become so accustomed to it, that you don’t even realize that it isn’t normal.

Deep down, though, you likely realize that something is off. And if you have been getting that sneaking feeling, here are 7 signs of a toxic family member.

1. They harshly criticize.

It’s one thing to constructively criticize a family member, but another to harshly criticize their every move. Toxic family members tend to do the latter and are always pointing out every single flaw of the people closest to them. For those who endure their bad behavior, they are left feeling like nothing about them is right.

2. They are extremely selfish.

Be wary of people who are all about themselves. While some people may be relatively harmless (yet still selfish) having a selfish family member can be something else entirely. Especially if they are manipulative or step all over everyone around them to meet their end.

3. They are always manufacturing drama.

Toxic family members are always creating drama. Even when there is no need to, they will find some drama to get into and spread. Be careful not to tell this family member any of your most personal secrets because they WILL use them against you.

4. They are always the victim.

One thing to always make note of, when it comes to toxic people: keep your eyes peeled for people who are always the victim. If someone is always in the middle of some drama, in which they (of course) are the victim, something is wrong. And it’s far more likely that there is something wrong with them than everyone else.

5. They threaten.

Toxic family members are quick to threaten and to even blackmail their other family members. They do not have a moral compass and because of that, they can be dangerous people to have around, especially if they stoop to this level.

6. They abuse.

Regardless of whether it’s physical, emotional, or whatever other kind of abuse, GET AWAY FROM FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ABUSE YOU. Please. Do not allow someone to continue to bring harm to you and destroy your peace. No one deserves that.

7. They ignore your boundaries.

Toxic people have no sense of boundaries. They will step over the line time and time again. And typically, they do not stop until they are cut off.