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If I asked you what the signs of a toxic relationship were, what would you say? Most of us would likely name off something obvious, like abuse or something to that effect, but at the end of the day, the signs of a toxic relationship aren’t always so overt or even expected.

Being in a toxic relationship can be draining, and destructive, and can change who you are as a person. No one walks away from a toxic relationship unscathed, even if the damage is just slight. With that being said, the signs aren’t always obvious. Below, I will go over 7 signs of a toxic relationship.

1. Contempt.

Contempt is what happens when you begin tearing your partner down, or vice versa, in passive-aggressive ways. Based on the research, this habit is the number one predictor of relationship failure. Examples of contempt are mocking your partner while they are in another room, snide remarks, or merely feelings of complete disdain towards your partner.

2. Lack of support.

In a toxic relationship, there is no support. Instead, both partners are always at odds with one another. Rather than building each other up, they are too busy tearing each other down.

3. Control/obsession.

It is not cute or healthy for control and obsession to be the main theme in a relationship. When one or both partners begins blowing up the other’s phone because they didn’t answer back within a few minutes, there is a problem. Other examples of this may be if your partner won’t allow you around certain people, stalks you down when you aren’t around one another, or refuses to let you have any time apart because you might cheat.

4. You are always trying to change each other.

Toxic relationships aren’t always toxic people. In fact, a toxic dynamic can be born when two people just simply aren’t right for one another. When this happens, a toxic push/pull begins to take place, in which both partners are always trying to get their needs met by someone who simply cannot meet them.

5. Dishonesty.

Dishonesty is toxic, plain and simple. While we may all say a little white lie here and there, when one or both partners is always lying, it reaches a toxic level.

6. Denial.

One major sign of toxicity is denial. Do you find yourself constantly making excuses for your relationship? If so, then it’s likely toxic.

7. Walking on eggshells.

If you are always having to walk on eggshells, to avoid setting your partner off, then you are likely in a toxic relationship. No one should have to hold back how they really feel, If you cannot express a different opinion in the presence of your partner because you fear retaliation, your relationship is toxic.