At one point or another, we have all sworn to ourselves that we would not accept less than we deserve. However, when you are in the trenches of a bad relationship, it can be hard to realize without a doubt whether you are being taken for granted.
Love is blinding, so when we are in love, we want to see the best in people. Unfortunately, sometimes, no matter how much we want to see the best, there simply isn’t the best side to see. If you are beginning to feel like your partner is taking advantage or not making you a priority, you maybe second-guessing yourself. Here are 7 red flags that should not be overlooked.
1. They never make time for you.
Someone once said, “If someone shows you who they are, believe them,” and nothing could be more true. At the end of the day, your partner will make time for you if they care. If they do not care, they will rarely find time for you. For those feeling sidelined, “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman can provide insights into understanding and communicating your needs more effectively.
2. Everyone always comes first.
When you find that your partner is quick to jump for their buddy but never prepared to jump for you, there is a problem. When you are in a relationship, you should be a priority. If everyone always comes before you, then you most certainly are not a priority.
3. He doesn’t consider your feelings.
He is always doing things that he knows will bother you, but does not care. For example, if you have told your partner that you are bothered when he flirts with other women in front of you, yet he continues to do that, then he is not considering how you feel. Exploring “Boundaries in Dating” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend could be beneficial in establishing clear boundaries.
4. They rarely initiate conversation.
Do you find that you are always the one who texts or calls first? This is a major red flag that you aren’t a priority. While sometimes, it’s normal for someone to not be able to text or call, there is no way that is always the case.
5. You feel single even though you aren’t.
When you are in a relationship, you should feel like it. You shouldn’t be lonely all of the time. If you feel like you are single and you are in a relationship, it’s time for a talk.
6. All plans are on his terms.
When you talk about going out to your favorite place, but he never wants to go, and instead only cares to go where he wants to go, he isn’t prioritizing you. Healthy relationships involve compromise, it should never be all about one person.
7. He is always lying.
You have caught him in multiple lies, and he always has an excuse. While we may all tell a white lie from time to time, if you find this happens frequently, it’s a bad sign.
8. He takes hours to respond.
When you do message him, he takes hours to respond. Even if he has no excuse as to why he didn’t message, he acts like it’s no big deal. “Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft offers an in-depth look into understanding and handling difficult behaviors in partners. This resource can be particularly enlightening for those dealing with the frustration of feeling neglected or minimized in a relationship.