When we are young and growing up with a narcissistic parent we tend to think that the abuse will stop once we become adults but for many, that is not the case. Narcissistic parents are good at what they do and manipulating their children well into adulthood is quite common.
Remaining in contact with narcissistic parents puts you as their child at risk of falling victim to their tactics time and time again. That being said, knowing how they choose to manipulate others and closing yourself off from it is important. The more aware you are of the tactics they use the better you can cope. Below I am going to go over some of the most common manipulation tactics that narcissistic parents use, if you’re the adult child of someone who fits that bill then you’ve most likely noticed these before on some level.
7 Manipulation Tactics Narcissistic Parents Use:
When it comes to being near a narcissist anytime things aren’t going their way they will make things out to be as if you’re causing them harm. They love to play things up so that it looks as if you’re really breaking them down when in reality they are the ones breaking you down. Allowing them to do this and giving into them is only going to make things worse.
Narcissists will do all they can to make sure you feel insane. They will say and do things that make you question your own reality. The more you feed into this the more control over you that your narcissistic parent is going to gain over you.
3. Positive Reinforcement
When you’re doing what the narcissist wants he or she will make you feel like you’re on top of the world. They will build you up while things are going their way but once you begin saying no they will tear you down as far as possible. You just cannot win when it comes to being near them.
4. Emotional Blackmail
Emotional blackmail for those who do not know is something that narcissistic people especially parents do that consists of creating a sense of guilt in the victim. For instance, those who say things like ‘if you love me you will do this’ and so forth. These kinds of people will go to great lengths to make sure that you’re doing what they want you to do.
The shame game is one that narcissistic parents are very good at. They plant shame into the minds of their offspring and make them feel very dislocated from their true selves. If you’re the child of a narcissistic parent you might feel as if you’re constantly struggling to be as perfect as they want you to be.
Narcissistic parents are often the kinds of parents to compare you to others. They will make you feel as if all of your accomplishments are not good enough. They do this because they want to push you to be the person that they want you to be instead of the person you want to be.
Narcissistic parents will do all they can to make you feel bad for not spending time with them. If they want something to happen they will go to great lengths to make you feel as if you have to do it. If you go do something fun without them they will act as if you’ve crushed them so that they can get you to make changes that include them later on or they bring it up to get you to do something for them.