There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding self-love, and I think when a lot of people hear the phrase “love yourself,” they immediately think of it as some crazy, woo-woo concept that people just say without real meaning. However, self-love is perhaps the most important endeavor we will ever deal with, because you truly cannot love with all of your heart until you learn to love yourself.
At least on some level. You might already be shaking your head, but I want you to hear me out here. There are many forms and levels of love. Yes, you can love others and experience life from the shallow end of the love pool, but are you thriving in love and life? Likely the answer is no if you do not love yourself. We attract the vibration we put out. When you love yourself, the universe draws love to you. And love is the source of raw and authentic joy.
If you are beginning this journey and have already realized how necessary self-love is, then the following will be extremely beneficial to you. Here are 7 easy steps to fall in love with yourself.
1. Change your self-talk.
The way we view ourselves is tied directly to our self-talk. And the thing about self-talk is that if you have been in situations where you have been abused, it’s likely your self-talk needs a reboot. Oftentimes, our inner dialogue is a direct reflection of how we were talked to growing up. Somewhere along the lines, I think most of us get wrapped up in negative self-talk on some level or another.
Pay attention to how you talk. If you look in the mirror and say, “I am so fat, I am so ugly, I am so dumb,” blah, blah, blah, you are going to believe that. And the thing is, what good does that do you? Instead of saying hateful things about yourself, start looking at yourself in a new light. Instead of “I am so ugly,” say, “I am so beautiful.” It might take you time to believe it (because you’ve been filling your head with lies for so long) but the more you do this, the better you will be.
2. Take care of yourself, inside and out.
Attend to your needs, in all ways. Eat nutritious food, not because of how you look, but because you want to feel your best. Go outside on a walk in the sunshine, not because you want to beat yourself up for eating too much at lunch, but because it makes you feel less stressed. Read a book to learn something new, not because you feel like you aren’t enough, but to feed your soul.
3. Surround yourself with the right people.
We are a direct reflection of the people we surround ourselves with. Now, I am NOT saying to stop talking to everyone you know. What I am saying is to spend less time with people who drag you down and more time with people that build you up and people that are genuinely good.
4. Set boundaries.
Boundaries are extremely important because users won’t set boundaries for you. People who intend to take advantage won’t set boundaries for you. And not only that, sometimes you simply need to be clear with your expectations and your limits. The right people will respect them and they will respect you more for setting them.
5. Treat yo-self.
Sometimes, it’s nice to treat yourself. Take yourself on a nice date to lunch at your favorite place and read your favorite book. Or, go to the beach all by yourself and lay in the sand listening to your favorite feel-good album. Or simply buy something that you’ve been needing or wanting.
6. Spend more time in silence. (Meditate.)
We spend so much time on our computers, on our phones, surrounded by people in crowded places, or surrounded by constant stimulation in our homes. Our lives have become so loud that we don’t value silence nearly as much as we should. But, never underestimate the importance of some quiet time to clear your mind and get to know yourself.
7. Push yourself.
It might be tempting to spend life in your comfort zone, however, I advise against it. The reason is, that it’s instinctual for us to resist change. But, when we do, we don’t grow. If you are stuck in your comfort zone, the best thing you can do is push yourself to break free.