Divorce might seem scary, but staying together for the wrong reasons isn’t going to make things better for anyone. If you’re in a toxic relationship, getting out is the best thing you will ever do.
When it comes to moving forward with a divorce, the first thing you might think of is your children and how they will be affected. Staying together ‘for the kids’ can do more damage than you might realize. Of course, separation will change their lives but in many ways, those changes could be for the better.
Below, I am going to go over some of the ways in which your refusal to leave that toxic relationship could end up hurting your children in the long run. There are a lot of negative sides to sticking around, and you would not be the only one suffering. Children are not oblivious to the things going on before them, they will be more than capable of seeing how miserable you are.
6 Ways Children Suffer When Their Parents Are In A Toxic Marriage:
1. Fear of Intimacy
Because this is the only kind of love that your kids have ever seen so closely they may end up deciding that intimacy on this level is not something they want. Your relationship with their mother/father is one that they see as the basis for all other relationships on a romantic scale in their lives. If your relationship is horrible, why would they want to give that kind of love a try, to begin with? Would you want your daughter stuck in the same situation you’re struggling to get out of?
When you and your partner are toxic for one another your kids will notice. They will feel the tension in the air and many will put that tension onto themselves. They will struggle to find a sense of what normal is as they will constantly be wondering when things might end up going too far.
3. Emotional Problems
While girls tend to experience this one more intensely than boys, both are affected. Kids are already emotionally insecure as is, fighting and struggling through together makes them feel very insecure overall. Your kids can see more than you think they can. Even when you’re fighting in private, they are aware.
Children who grow up with parents that are constantly fighting or arguing with one another are not going to feel as important as those who do not. They are going to lack confidence in many areas and struggle when it comes to getting the words out that they want to say. This kind of thing also really damages the relationship those children have with their parents. They will not feel as if coming to them for help is possible and will not feel as nurtured as they should.
When it comes to living in a home where the parents are toxic for one another, boys tend to show behavioral problems right off the bat. This is because they do not know how to handle the things before them. The more violent things become around them the more they may lash out.
6. Mood Issues
Children who are forced to live in an unhappy home are often pretty moody. They never know what they’re coming home to and so their days tend to change quite quickly. Small issues can turn them against everyone and have them ready to lock themselves in their rooms. This is just one of the many ways they cope.
Getting a divorce isn’t the end of the world. It is important that when getting one you explain to your children what is going on and that there are reasons behind it happening. Divorce can sometimes be just as relieving for your kids as it can be for you and you need to keep that in mind. There is a lot more to take into consideration when going over things than just keeping the family together for the sake of your offspring.