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When it comes to relationships and dating overall if you’re in a toxic situationship you should be able to tell. However, not everyone realizes the negative side of things before they are in way over their heads.

While there are tons of signs you can look for when it comes to whether or not your partner it toxic most people overlook the ones that happen when you’re apart from your significant other. For instance, what he or she does when you’re just texting one another. If you’re out with your friends you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to be glued to your phone just to keep your partner from freaking out. 

Below I am going to go over some of the texting red flags that can indicate you’re in a toxic relationship. These red flags are going to make it quite clear that your partner is trying to control you or that your partner doesn’t trust you in general. While some of these things can be worked through, not all of them can and you need to take them into consideration with the other things that make up your relationship to see if leaving is something that you need to do.

6 ‘Texting’ Red Flags That You’re In A Toxic Relationship:

1. Your partner doesn’t want you to be on your phone around him or her, ever.

When your partner is so jealous of your phone that you can’t be on it around him or her, there is a clear issue. We all get text messages and we all respond to those messages as we see fit. No, you shouldn’t be consumed but checking it here and there should not be an issue. Oftentimes in toxic relationships, this is a double-standard to where he or she is fine to do it but if you do it all hell breaks loose.

2. Your partner expects you to respond to them right away, even if you’re busy.

If your partner flips out or flies off the handle if you don’t reply to him or her quickly enough, you’re not with the right person. Sometimes we’re busy and it takes us a few minutes or longer to reply. That doesn’t mean that you’re off doing something you shouldn’t be. If your partner is like this he or she definitely does NOT trust you.

3. You don’t feel like there is much conversation overall, it’s more so your partner trying to tell you what to do or what not to do constantly.

If you and your partner don’t actually say much when texting and you feel like your partner is more-so texting you to literally keep tabs on you or remind you of what you should or shouldn’t be doing, you need to cut ties. You should be able to talk to one another and have proper conversations through the phone. He or she should not be using texting as a means of laying out rules for you.

4. You have to be careful about how you word things because your partner will take things out of context.

If your partner is constantly doing the most and taking things out of context when you’re texting there is a clear issue present. He or she is looking for something to fight about and wants to make you uncomfortable. You’d be surprised how many people actually do this. If you’ve talked about it and it’s still happening why keep putting up with it?

5. Your partner feels like he or she should be able to go through your phone whenever he or she wants.

You do not have to let your partner go through your phone. You are allowed your privacy, period. Just because you’re together does not give him or her the right to creep through all of your stuff whether you’re doing something wrong or not.

6. Your partner will blow up your phone until you respond. 

If your partner is sending you 20 text messages at a time just to get you to respond you should see this as a red flag. One or two texts are fine but blowing things up is far too excessive. You will respond when you can, he or she needs to accept that. You have to live your life, you cannot just be glued to your phone 24/7. For instance, if you have to take break a few minutes late and he or she is already freaking out accusing you of cheating, you should run for the hills.

Sources:

https://www.businessinsider.com/texting-calling-controlling-partner-psychology-2017-10

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201708/how-recognize-toxic-individuals-and-toxic-relationships

https://www.talkspace.com/blog/why-you-shouldnt-check-your-partners-phone/