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There will be good days and bad days within every relationship you have, but if someone doesn’t actually love you, you can’t make them love you. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they’re going to love you, sorry.

If you’re dating someone who refuses to put forth any kind of real effort at all then chances are you’re more invested in the connection than they are. Relationships should be a team effort. You should both be putting forth the same effort with one another most days. Of course, there will be times where you have to lean more on one another and things won’t be as equal, but those times will not be permanent, and they will be full of growth.

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships” by John Gottman. Gottman’s research-based approach to improving relationships offers practical advice for enhancing communication and reconnecting with your partner, addressing issues like neglect and growing distance.

If you’re questioning whether or not your partner loves you then chances are you’re already aware of the answer, even if it’s not the answer you want. Below, I am going to go over some of the signs you can look for in regards. If he or she doesn’t actually love you, these signs will be more than present in your connection and time with one another.

6 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Actually Love You:

1. You don’t really spend much time with one another these days.

If you and your partner aren’t spending much time together if any but you both have free time then there is something wrong. You’re both withdrawing from one another, or one of you more-so than the other. This meaning that an issue is present whether you’re willing to work through that issue or not.

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2. You feel like they’re not trying anymore.

When someone no longer loves you or perhaps didn’t love you at all they will once comfortable stop trying to keep you happy or to make things work. You’ll feel as though you’re the one carrying the weight of the relationship and trying hard to keep things going. It will be quite one-sided.

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This book offers insight into how attachment styles affect relationships and can help you understand both your own needs and those of your partner, providing a foundation for addressing emotional distance and lack of effort.

3. They never take your wants or needs into consideration.

When you’re with someone who loves you they will always consider your feelings before making decisions and take into consideration your wants and needs. If you’re struggling they will be there to help you through the things life is placing before you.

4. You’re always walking on eggshells when they’re around.

If someone you’re with doesn’t care for you properly chances are they’re going to lash out over some of the smallest things. You’re going to end up walking on eggshells whenever they’re around and find yourself on edge more and more. It’s like they’re no longer the person you fell in love with.

5. They’re not affectionate with you anymore and have been growing distant.

The more distance you feel growing between you and your partner, the more clear an issue is. If they love you they will work to overcome this distance, but if they don’t they will allow it to grow until things come to an end. You deserve affection, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for expecting it or wanting it.

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson. For couples struggling with emotional disconnect and communication issues, this book introduces effective strategies for reconnecting and rebuilding emotional bonds.

6. They refuse to properly communicate with you.

If your partner won’t communicate then you should see it as them already having one leg out of the door. They are not willing to work through the things you’re facing as a couple and would rather see the relationship sink. They aren’t going to be bothered anymore with trying to make things work.

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