It is a difficult situation when your mother has issues, especially when those issues enter the realm of narcissism. Growing up with a controlling, intrusive, and critical mother can leave you forever changed, even when you are well into adulthood.
One of the ways this happens is that through the narcissistic abuse, the narcissist’s daughter begins to become molded into the ‘good daughter’ role. Many calls this the good daughter syndrome because it affects many individuals who have mothers who are narcissists. The ‘good’ daughter tends to be the one who keeps it altogether. She will bend over backward to keep her mother happy, however, in many ways, the daughter’s happiness is destroyed in the process.
Do you think you may have this syndrome? Check out these 6 signs.
1. You bend over backward for mom’s approval and never get it.
Those with ‘good daughters’ syndrome tend to go to the ends of the Earth to make their mother happy. They constantly concede their happiness and bend over backward to serve their mother. Unfortunately, this can lead to a constant state of always trying to figure out what to do next, in an attempt to satisfy someone who cannot be satisfied.
2. Your mom never feels like she is wrong.
No matter what your mom does or says, she never feels as though she is wrong. She has never said she is sorry and if she has, it was because she wanted you to do something for her.
3. Your relationship with your mother has no boundaries.
In a relationship between a narcissistic mother and a good daughter, there are no boundaries. The mother doesn’t think twice to step on her toes or invade her privacy if she feels like she has a good reason. Of course, she always finds one.
4. You always feel responsible for your mom’s happiness.
When your mother is unhappy, you find yourself trying to figure out what you did wrong. Is it something you said? Is it something you’ve done? In reality-your mother’s emotions are hers and hers alone.
5. You constantly feel guilty.
You always feel guilty, because your mother knows that she can put a guilt trip on you and get a response. Any time something goes wrong, you feel like it must be your fault. After a while, this can leave you in a constant state of guilt.
6. You find it difficult to stand up to your mother.
While there have been many times you wanted to stand up, you also don’t want to rock the boat. It’s much easier to just give in to her, at least at the moment. Just remember that the more you give in, the more she will push you.