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Life can be difficult, and by the time we are adults, many of us will have experienced trauma. With that being said, it can be natural for some to fear intimacy, even if they do not entirely realize what that means.

Unfortunately, a fear of intimacy can wreak havoc on your relationships. Not just your romantic relationships, but it can even be difficult to maintain friendships when you are fearful of getting close to others. If you find that you are struggling to get close to people, it is very likely that you may be suffering from a fear of intimacy. Below, I will cover 6 signs that indicate you are afraid of intimacy.

1. You are sexually immature.

You may love to have sex, but during the act, if you tend to have a hard time connecting, it’s likely that you may be fearful of intimacy. Sex without intimacy may feel fine to you, but as soon as things get deep in the bedroom, you may tend to space out. For some, this can even cause apprehension about sex entirely.

2. You don’t share the big stuff.

Do you tend to keep the big stuff to yourself? If you have a hard time sharing how you really feel, even if that means explaining that you are depressed or have gone through something major, then you may have a fear of intimacy. Intimacy includes being able to be vulnerable.

3. You keep your true feelings to yourself.

When it comes to how you really feel, you tend to bottle it up. If you struggle with letting people in or wondering whether you should say how you really feel, then you likely struggle with intimacy.

4. Your record precedes you.

Look back at your past. Have you had relationships that went awry, due to the fact that you tend to run from your feelings or bottle them up? If you are questioning whether that is true, try asking someone who is unbiased and will be honest with you. You might be surprised.

5. When the connection gets deep, you run.

A lot of people who struggle to be intimate with others also tend to run away when things get deep. For example, if everything is fine during the dating stage but as soon as the commitment word gets brought up, the first thing you think to do is run, this is a major sign of fear of intimacy.

6. You’re married to your job.

Many people who struggle with intimacy lean into other parts of their life. The major area of focus for many is to immerse themselves in their job. Being career-minded is one thing, but if you find that you are a workaholic so much that it damages your relationships, it could be tied to a fear of intimacy.