Our voice becomes our children’s internal monologue one day, what will your children’s thoughts be, when you are no longer guiding them along? Will they be positive, or will you leave a lasting mark on their spirit?
Certain phrases might seem harmless enough. These phrases were said to us by our parents, our grandparents, and our uncles and aunts. Or, we heard these phrases on television and thought, “Maybe that’s the right way.” Wherever you heard the following phrases, immediately unlearn them today, because they are toxic and hurtful.
1. Why can’t you act more like ______?
Using this phrase to compare your child to their cousin, friend, sister, or brother might seem innocent enough. However, while you may mean well, the result will not turn out in your favor. On the contrary, when you say this to your child, the essential message is “You are not enough.”
2. You are so embarrassed.
There again, while your child’s actions are likely embarrassing to you at the moment, be wary of using this phrase. You are labeling your child, not their behavior, which ultimately, will backfire,
3. Stop whining!
When kids cry, they cry because they are expressing emotion to you. When you meet their cries, with things like ‘Stop crying!’ or ‘Stop wining!’ you are sending the message that emotions are to be avoided. Ultimately, instead of showing your child how to manage their emotions, you are forcing them to push them down.
4. You are crazy!
This phrase is gaslighting pure and simple. When you call your child crazy, especially about something they say they experienced, you are telling them that their sense of reality is flawed.
5. I’ll never forgive you.
You may feel like you won’t ever forgive your child at the moment when you are upset. However, you will and when you do, they won’t forget that you told them that you won’t forgive them. It’s okay to reprimand them, but don’t make them feel like they will pay for it forever.
6. You are getting so fat.
Comments like this will destroy your child’s self-esteem and ruin their relationship with food. If your child is eating too much junk, focus on feeding them more healthy meals. If you call their body under question, you are going to damage their self-esteem.