There is no perfect formula for making a relationship last forever, however, if there was it would look something like the following.
Throughout our lives, the majority of us will have one thing in common: the search for love, the task of keeping our love life thriving and happy, and taxes, of course. Right now, we are discussing relationships and the key to keeping one healthy and keeping it on track. And while there are many opinions about this, I collected some expert information and placed the most common themes together below. Enjoy!
1. Listen to each other.
And I don’t just mean listen, I mean listen. Place your smartphone aside, and truly focus on your partner. Talia Goldstein, a relationship expert, and CEO of Matchmaking Service, Three Day Rule talked to Insider, and she explained the following, “Every time you pick up your phone when you’re with another person, you’re essentially saying that whatever is on your phone is more important to them.”
“You want someone to engage and talk things through with,” Goldstein said. “Be very present, and have very meaningful conversations.”
2. Be honest, unconditionally.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., LMFT, says that one of the best aspects of a relationship is that you have someone you can be honest with. However, when you place a wall between you and your partner, problems will arise. So, establish trust with your partner, and stay honest with them, and expect the same from them, if you want a lasting relationship.
3. Have separate but connected lives.
Many people misunderstand relationships and fuze themselves at the hip with their partners. However, to do so is a horrible mistake. You have to maintain your individuality, while also staying connected to your partner. Abigail Brenner MD says this tip is vital. We must maintain our individuality, while still being a part of a couple, otherwise, the person that fell in love with your partner and the person your partner fell in love with ceases to exist.
4. Never stop being curious about your partner.
John and Julie Gottman have studied relationships for over 40 years and even wrote a book called ‘Eight Dates.’ One of their key tips is to never stop being curious about your partner. Ask them about themselves, ask them to tell stories, ask them about their dreams, ask them about their aspirations, and everything in between.
5. Don’t stop caring for yourself, too.
It’s impossible to give from an empty cup. So, set boundaries, take time for yourself, and make sure you never let your own needs fall to the backburner.
6. Make sure you have a similar vision for life.
According to Brenner, successful couples look at something along the lines of two people who know what they want out of life, understand their common goals, and share a vision for what they want to accomplish in life. Additionally, they commit themselves to achieve these things together.