We often think of attractiveness in terms of looks, when in reality-you could be the best-looking person in the world and still not be attractive. That might sound odd, but at the end of the day, your looks don’t matter if your actions are ugly.
Now, with that being said, none of us are without our unattractive qualities. None of us are perfect, and we all have our flaws. The first key to working on our flaws is understanding what they are and what we need to do to correct them. That said, many of the following are likely things most people do not realize are habits that make them unattractive.
1. Being too thirsty.
It might seem like a good idea to put yourself out there and while it is good to signal to the opposite sex that you are looking, be wary not to come off as desperate. Constant seeking of validation is unattractive and makes you appear desperate, which is a major turnoff to most.
2. Talking about yourself too much.
It’s okay to be confident about who you are, just be careful not to talk yourself up too much. Instead, be sure to ask about the people you are talking with and listen when they are talking. If you are always just waiting for your turn to talk, people will pick up on that. To improve your conversational skills and become more genuinely interested in others, consider “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.
3. Being too critical of others.
When you are constantly criticizing others, it is not a good look. From the outside looking in, it may make you appear to be judgmental or even cruel.
4. Being pessimistic.
Pessimistic or otherwise negative people are not fun to be around. We’ve all been around that one person, who only has negative things to say, is always complaining, and is never happy. This type of person tends to bring down those around them, which ultimately makes them less attractive. For those looking to develop a more positive outlook, “Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life” by Martin E.P. Seligman can be a valuable resource.
5. Not taking proper care of yourself.
You do not have to be a supermodel to be attractive, but you should at least do the bare minimum. Things like eating the right amount of nutrition, brushing your teeth, taking baths, and other methods of hygiene keep us in tip-top shape. If you are not at least taking care of yourself, you likely aren’t going to attract others. James Clear’s “Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones” can help you establish routines for better self-care.
6. Avoiding new people altogether.
It might be tempting to just stay to yourself. However, if you spend all of your time alone and avoid people altogether, your chances of finding someone who is attracted to you will be much less.