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Parenting is a journey that comes with many ups and downs, and many stressful moments. It can become a very easy reflex to resort to yelling, screaming and just reacting to the chaos, but ultimately, that is not a wise choice.

As hard as it may be, it’s best to remain calm. Of course, that is easier said than done. When your child is painting the walls with the newest markers you swore you put up, all the while your other child is running in circles screaming to the top of their lungs, it can place an immense amount of pressure on you as a parent. During those moments, it’s easy to lose yourself and see your best intentions go out the window.

So, how do you remain calm? Well, you see, you have to align your actions and behaviors with those parents who can remain calm. Here are five traits of parents who remain calm under pressure.

1. They know their limits.

Knowing your limits can benefit you immensely when it comes to parenting. A major part of this is recognizing your triggers as a parent, so you know when to stop yourself. You may not be able to stop your child from triggering you, but if you know your kid yelling in your face will cause you to lose all composure, you will know when to step back.

2. They carve out time to take space for themselves.

When you are always going, going, going, and doing, doing, doing, you can get overstimulated. Not only that, but parenting is exhausting and you cannot pour from an empty cup. So, before you become overwhelmed, try to allow yourself allotted time for just you.

3. They are consistent.

If you are disciplining your kids one way when you are at ease and another when you are pissed off, you are doing it wrong. The thing is- you need to have a set list of expectations and consequences for when your children act up. When they do, give them one warning and then follow through with consequences.

4. They look out for emotional displacement.

We only have the capacity for so much. So, when we are overwhelmed, it’s easy to accidentally snap on the wrong person (i.e, your kids.) When you are upset about one thing, it’s easy to accidentally displace those emotions and put them on your kids. This is why it’s so important to stay in tune with your emotions.

5. They aren’t perfectionists.

If you are expecting perfection from your kids, you are going to end up frustrated. So, remember, they are tiny people and people just aren’t perfect. Adjust your expectations and be okay with things not always being okay.