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There is a lot of stigma surrounding being a stay-at-home parent that needs to be addressed. So many people think of a stay-at-home parent as someone who has an ‘easy’ job when in reality, it’s quite difficult. While we may struggle in silence, there are some things we would like our partners to know.

As a stay-at-home mother, I am extremely happy and very lucky to be in the position to stay at home with my child. I know that not all mothers get to do this, so this letter isn’t a letter of complaint. I thank my lucky stars that my husband goes to work and that I have a job where I can work from home, which allows me to be able to remain present with my two kids. However, no matter how lucky I may be, it doesn’t mean that I do not struggle. Between cooking, cleaning, helping with school work, naps, appointments, and spending my entire day with a tiny toddler, I am completely worn down at the end of each day. Now, add to that the fact that I do work, and it’s needless to say that I have a lot on my plate.

While most of the time, I do struggle in silence, there are some things I wish my partner understood more.

1. Being a stay-at-home parent is NOT easy.

Being a stay-at-home parent is not easy, or easier than if I just went to work and dropped the kids off at daycare. It’s much more complex. I wear so many hats. I am a chef. I am a caregiver. I am a maid. I am a nurse. I am a tutor. I am a teacher. I am a wife. I am so many different things on any given day, and it can be too much.

2. I just need you to give me a break sometimes.

When you are home, I need you to give me a break. Taking a five-minute shower shouldn’t be what I consider a vacation. Some days, even though I know you have been at work all day, it would be nice to have a few hours to myself to decompress.

3. I know I am on edge, but I am completely overstimulated.

I might seem edgy, annoyed, and even irritated. I promise I do not mean to be. I am not angry or anything like that, I am merely overstimulated.

4. Even if the house is a mess when you get home, I’ve still worked my tail off.

While it may not seem like it from the outside looking in, even when my house is upside down, I assure you that I have worked my arse off at home. I could clean the kitchen a million times, and somehow it still is upside down when I start cooking my next meal.

5. My job never ends. I am ALWAYS at work.

I don’t ever get a break. When I am not doing ‘work’ I am fixing lunch, chauffeuring kids to the park, or folding laundry. My idea of a break is when the kids go to bed, I get a few hours to fold laundry and watch a movie in peace, while I work.