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As mothers, we have so much influence over our daughters, likely much more than we may even realize. None of us are perfect and there will be times in which we say the wrong thing, however, you may be saying the wrong thing without even realizing it.

What I mean is, if you are empowerment coaching your daughter in one breath, and in the next, you are tearing yourself apart, you are going to end up in trouble. Even without meaning to, our daughters are sponging up every comment we make towards ourselves and others. One day, those words will be her internal monologue. What do you want them to remember?

Here are 5 things you should never say to your daughter.

1. Ugh, I am getting so fat!

When you stand in front of the mirror and inspect every inch of yourself, only to exclaim about how fat you are, you are sending a bad message. While comments like this may sound harmless, when your daughter inevitably outgrows her jeans or dress, her first thoughts are going to be that she is putting on weight. Be kind to yourself, and to your daughter, and focus on health versus weight.

2. I look awful without makeup.

We already live in a world where we are constantly being told we are not enough. When you say things like this to yourself, your daughter is internalizing it. First and foremost, if she is young enough, she can’t wear makeup, so0 when you talk about how ugly you are without it-she is going to think that beauty = makeup. It’s okay to wear makeup to feel prettier, but it’s a better route to embrace natural beauty sometimes, too, for your little one.

3. Why am I so stupid?

We’ve all had a moment in which we felt stupid. However, when you are constantly saying these words out loud, your daughter hears them. Instead of saying, “Why am I so stupid?” or “I am not smart enough,” focus on problem-solving. Or simply keep those thoughts to yourself.

4. My body looks so weird!

We all have different bodies. We are all shaped differently. Instead of equating having a different body with a weird body- embrace your flaws.

5. Sorry….(when you have no reason to be.)

Women are taught early on that they should always be nice and sweet. However, if you have done nothing wrong, yet you are always apologizing to others in front of your daughter- she is going to pick up on those people-pleasing behaviors too.