Breadcrumbing is when someone leads you along, by giving you little ‘crumbs’ to keep you on their hook. Unfortunately, when this happens, it can be a very heartbreaking experience, especially if you have grown to be attached to the breadcrumbs.
When someone is breadcrumbing you, it can be a hard thing to face. No one wants to feel like they are being led along, because it is honestly a brutal hit to the ego. However, it’s best to remember that this person’s behavior is not a reflection of you. If anything, it’s a reflection of who they are, and it’s best, to be honest with yourself first and foremost.
Here are some signs you are being breadcrumbed:
1. This person only calls you enough to keep the connection afloat.
2. You do all of the work.
3. You feel like you are being used.
4. They only come around when no one else is in the picture.
5. They refuse to define the relationship.
So, if you have read the signs and it sounds like you are being breadcrumbed, you may be wondering what you should do to handle the situation. Here are 5 helpful tips.
1. Be direct.
When you realize what is happening, you should be direct. Do not beat around the bush, do not allow them to breadcrumb you again, and be honest and straightforward about what is happening. Express how the situation is affecting you and try to steer clear of your statements.
2. Put your expectations/ boundaries on the line.
Once you have let them know that you are on to their behavior, you need to be open and honest about what you want. If you want a relationship, say that. You do not need to beg, instead say something like, “I do not feel like this is going anywhere. I intend to have something real. It’s okay if you cannot provide that, but I need us to be honest here.”
3. If you feel like your attempts to salvage have gone unrecognized, stop replying.
If they continue to drop crumbs and avoid acknowledging your feelings, it may be time to move on. Much like an addiction, breadcrumbing requires you to go fully if you are going. You do not want to keep giving them an open door to keep the toe of their foot in.
4. Talk to someone you trust.
If you doubt yourself, talk to someone else. Ask them what they have observed or what they think of the situation. Listen with an open heart and do not get offended if they tell you something you don’t want to hear.
5. Know your worth and when to move on.
Ultimately, you are the one who has to define your worth. No one deserves to be led along. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is move forward.