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Life is not easy. There are going to be difficult times that are going to test you beyond anything you have ever imagined, and if you talk to someone who has lived (and I mean lived) they will tell you the same.

The thing is, though, that once you overcome some major hurdles, they can help you to grow. I won’t say that everything happens for a reason, because terrible things happen in this world. Terrible things that should never happen, and it would be a lie to say there was meaning in those terrible events. What I will say, is that through the hurdles we face in life, we do find ourselves in some strange way.

With all of that being said, talking to someone who has lived and encountered those brutal life lessons can be eye-opening. And while we can’t all encounter all of those lessons firsthand or through another, I thought it might be beneficial to go over some of them here.

1. You are not meant to be happy all of the time.

There is a major misconception that if you are not always happy, you must be depressed or there must be something wrong with you or your life. When in reality, we are not going to be happy all of the time. Happiness comes in bursts, motivating us to keep pushing through the hard parts. And no matter how short those moments are (a bit of a warm chocolate chip cookie, or pushing our toes into the sand on the beach for a brief and fleeting moment) they are worthwhile. If you were happy all of the time, you would not appreciate the good times.

2. Instant gratification is almost always a recipe for disaster.

Another thing, especially about modern society, is the need for instant gratification. We have an entire world at our fingertips, and it’s easy to get whatever we want in the blink of an eye. Want fast food? Order door dash. Want an orgasm? Go to a porn site. Want to order anything you want? Go to Amazon. And I am not saying that these are always bad things. But, the thing about instant gratification is that it trains our brain to become accustomed to it. And oftentimes, instant gratification can jeopardize our lives in many ways. You might want to binge-eat Oreos at the moment for instant satisfaction, versus eating an apple- because what’s the big deal? But later on, your health pays for these decisions that we repeat time and time.

3. If it’s too good to be true- it isn’t true.

If something sounds too good to be true, it is. If someone says you won a million dollars just for sharing a post on social media, it might sound tempting to believe that it’s true. However, there again, if something sounds too good, be hesitant and proceed with caution.

4. No one is coming to save you from the wreckage of your life.

A lot of us watch movies and see these characters who have the worst lives, who are sabotaging themselves, get saved by a friend or quirky supporting character. However, that is not reality. No one is going to save you from yourself or your life but YOU. And you have to choose to do that. Otherwise, you will continue to stay stuck.

5. Just because you love someone, does not mean they will love you back.

No matter how much you love someone, they are not guaranteed to love you back. You could pour all of your love into someone, every ounce of it, and still never get anything in return. And it hurts, but at the end of the day, you have to accept it and move on.