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It’s not easy to be a mom, and most of us understand that. We spend the majority of our days, trying our hardest to do everything for everyone, which can make things difficult when you are depressed.

Mom depression is a very real thing. Many mothers experience the depression and feelings of isolation that come along with being a mom, at least at one point or another. When this happens, you are faced with the need to figure out how to take care of your child, while simultaneously attending to your self-care.

Sadly, we live in a world where many moms are told to shove it down and deal with it, or to sacrifice themselves to be good moms. At the end of the day, that is the WORST choice you can make. Why? Because if you aren’t showing up for yourself, how can you show up for others? Sure, you might be able to blow yourself off for a while, but eventually that self-neglect will catch up to you.

So what do you do? How do you finagle that fine line, without losing yourself, and without sacrificing how you show up as a parent?

1. Talk to someone who gets it.

Regardless of whether it’s a partner, your mom, your best friend, or another mom friend who has been there, you need someone to help you put your feelings into words. Even more, you need to feel understood and to get it out of your head. it’s okay to say how you feel, so find someone you trust to say it to.

2. Allow yourself some grace.

You are a human being. You aren’t a machine and you cannot achieve perfection. The thing is, sometimes, people go through hard times. It doesn’t make you less of a mom, it means that you share something in common with many moms who are going through the same things. So, allow yourself some grace.

3. Practice radical acceptance.

You are already an amazing mom. Being depressed does not take away from that. So right here, right now, accept yourself and your situation for what it is. If this is something that comes hard for you, you may benefit from counseling.

4. Make time for yourself.

Above all, do not make mothering your entire life. You need space and time to do things for yourself. Otherwise, you are going to feel like you are losing yourself. Additionally, no one can pour from an empty cup. So, work on filling yours.