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We all want to raise smart, successful, and happy children. Of course, to achieve this, there are many traits you need to encourage in your children and one of those is a healthy sense of competition.

No one wants to raise a sore loser, and you surely do not want to raise someone who is obnoxiously competitive. However, we still want our kids to be competitive because this will ultimately make them more motivated and hell-bent on achieving their goals. If this sounds like something you want for your child, then make sure you are doing these four things.

1. Praise effort, not talent.

Make sure your kids understand that positive outcomes come from hard work and effort. Explain how some of the most successful people and players work hard and practice often. Whenever you notice that effort paying off in your child, make sure you praise their effort.

2. Re-define success.

Make sure your child realizes that to feel accomplished, you do not always have to win. The best athletes and most successful people in the world have a growth mindset and know the aim of the game is not winning, but becoming a better version of themselves.

3. Learn from the competition.

Instead of making your child jealous or at odds with the competition, encourage them to learn from them. For example, if the other child on the team does better, say, “I bet they practiced a whole lot and that helped them. Maybe we could practice more, so you can get there too.”

4. Practice at home.

Play games at home and make sure they are kept fair. You can opt for more cooperative games to encourage teamwork and pay attention to how your child reacts when they win or lose. Use this as an opportunity to help them grow.