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Over the years, most especially with the rise of social media, has come the rise in the notion that perfection exists. On social media, we are given the ability to share our highlight reels, omitting the less-than-perfect details of our lives, allowing us to give others a false impression of our lives.

By simply taking a glance at some Instagram influencers, you would think they led the perfect lives. Their kids go to all of the extracurriculars, have perfect matching bedrooms, are always dressed to the nines, and are fed gourmet health food. From the outside looking in, most influencers would have you believe that being the perfect mom is possible.

The problem is, that perfection does not exist. Not in any aspect of our lives, and most especially NOT in parenthood. It’s impossible to be the perfect mom. Even more importantly, our kids don’t NEED us to pretend like we are perfect. Instead, they need our authenticity. They need us to do our best and to be present. Here are four reasons why your kids don’t need a perfect mother.

1. They can feel the stress of your desire to be perfect, and it weighs on them.

Because perfection is IMPOSSIBLE – your struggle to be perfect will be a stressful one. Your little ones can sense when you have too much on your plate and when you are stressed out. They can feel it in their soul and in turn, if you are stressing to be perfect, they will end up trying to do the same.

2. When you are focused on being perfect, you are missing out on the real, raw, and authentic moments of motherhood.

If you are so busy trying to make sure you cross all of the perfect mom tasks on your list, you are likely overlooking the moments that are right in front of you. While your child craves coloring on a coloring book with mommy, you are focused on arranging their next play date or signing them up for their next class. In reality, you don’t need to be perfect to be a good mom.

3. Your kids need to see you fail, so they can learn through you.

When the focus is on being perfect, you are giving your child the impression that failure and mistakes are to be avoided at all costs and that they are the worst thing that can happen. Instead of knowing how to handle failure when it inevitably happens, if they don’t learn how to, they will continue to try to hide their mistakes and pretend to be perfect.

4. They need to see you happy, vs. seeing you struggle to be perfect.

The most important thing is for you to be happy, healthy, and present. You cannot be perfect. And attempting to be perfect will do far more harm than it will any good.