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There is so much pressure in modern times to be the perfect mother, to be the perfect spouse, and to, generally, be perfect. However, the thing is- perfection is not only impossible, but it is also unnecessary.

Social media has made it way too easy for people to make a highlight reel and put off to the rest of the world that their lives are perfect. Not only is it easier to pretend-it’s incentivized with the monetization of influencers. And then, there are the constant mom-shamers, who will siphon through your posts about motherhood with a fine toothed comb, just looking for the right moment to tell you everything you are doing wrong.

The thing is- no one is perfect, not even those seemingly perfect ‘mom-influencers.’

Your kids do not need you to be perfect. They do not need to believe that you are perfect. If your goal is to be perfect, your kids are going to feel that pressure as well. Instead of being a ‘perfect’ mother-focus on being a positive one, here’s why.

1. They need to see you fail, sometimes.

When you act like the slightest mistake is the end of the world, you are setting the bar too high, not just for you but for your kids. If you understand that being a perfectionist isn’t doing you any good, then please also realize that what is not good for you is not good for your kids, either. Instead of focusing on perfection, teach your kids how to accept their mistakes and use them to improve.

2. Perfection doesn’t equal happiness.

People who are always aiming for perfection are never satisfied. You may be wondering why- but perfection doesn’t exist. There will always be something more you could have done, or something different. Focus on happiness and positivity, and let go of the idea that perfection is a thing.

3. Your kids need you to be happy, more than they need you to be perfect.

More than anything, your kids need you to be happy. You cannot be perfect, but you can take care of yourself and your kids and continue to show up for them as your best. If you are struggling with your need for perfection, your kids are going to feel that pressure and that struggle too.

4. Positive mothers create growth-oriented kids.

Having a growth mindset is so beneficial for success and happiness in life. We can be flexible and adaptable in the face of adversity. So, instead of forcing perfectionism onto your kids, teach them how to use their mistakes to grow and evolve.