Relationships are never easy, but sometimes there are things that happen that even we shouldn’t put up with. Red flags are things that should make it clear to us when we should be jumping ship.
While it might seem normal in this day and age to make requests for specific things or to try to control one another, but there are limits to this and there always should be. Below I am going to go over the things you should never allow to happen in your relationships whether you love someone or not. These things are not things we should ever compromise on, and once limits are reached we should work to cut ties properly. “The Boundaries in Love: Recognizing and Standing by Your Limits“ offers an insightful perspective on setting and respecting personal boundaries in relationships.
27 Things You Should Consider Being Red Flags When It Comes To Your Relationships:
1. When your partner constantly talks badly about others and past relationships.
When you’re with someone who is constantly bad-mouthing other people, issues come up. They are so negative and stuck in the past that it’s hard to build a future with them. These are the kinds of people who never let anything go, and it makes for quite the rocky foundation. For those dealing with partners obsessed with their ex or past relationships, “Moving On and Letting Go: The Art of Living in the Present“ provides tools and strategies to help you and your partner focus on the present moment.
2. When your partner is irresponsible on an intense level.
Sure a little irresponsibility is fine but too much is well, too much. We all have our limits, and if your partner is forcing you to clean up his or her mess time and time again, you’re going to get tired of it at some point. This kind of thing should not be tolerated.
3. When your partner is obsessed with his or her ex.
Your partner should not be hung up on an ex. This just shows that they’re again still stuck in the past. How can they build a future with you if they’re always thinking about someone else?
4. When your partner is always hiding things and lying to you.
Your partner should not be hiding things from you or lying to you. This creates a relationship that is lacking respect as well as trust and puts you in a rough place moving forth. If you cannot trust the person you’re with they’re only going to disappoint you constantly.
5. When your partner won’t stop criticizing you.
Your partner is supposed to be your biggest fan, not your worst enemy. If he or she isn’t building you up, they’re not worth your time. You deserve someone who truly cares.
6. When your partner is cold towards others.
If your lover is not kind to other people you should see that as a sign that they don’t consider many people to be important. We as human beings are all equal and if your partner is someone who thinks he or she is better than everyone else problems are going to be quite apparent throughout your relationship.
7. When your partner is rushing you to do things that you are not okay with.
You do not have to do anything you’re not okay with, ever. Just because you’re dating someone doesn’t mean you have to listen to everything they say and follow their guidelines to a tee. You are your own person.
8. When you feel like you have to justify your partner’s bad behaviors.
Your lover should never put you in the position where you have to explain them to others and justify their actions. When they do something, they should either own it themselves or clear things up on their own. You are not a crutch. Building trust in a relationship is essential, and “Trust Matters: Building and Repairing Trust in Relationships“ can guide couples through the intricacies of developing and maintaining trust.
Your partner should never be crossing your boundaries. This kind of thing shows a serious lack of respect and makes it apparent that what you want and feel you need does not matter to him/her. You deserve so much better than that.
10. When your partner controls who you see and how you live your life.
You are in charge of your own life, and you are free to do whatever you want. If you want to see your friends, your partner shouldn’t be holding you back from that. We need outside connections, period.
11. When those who matter to you voice their concerns with reason.
If the people who care for you come to you with real concerns and have valid points, you shouldn’t cross them off so quickly. Sometimes we cannot see the evil within the people we are dating because we want to see the bright light shining through. Just hear those out who care for you and go from there.
12. When your partner won’t consider even discussing the future.
If your partner is not someone you can discuss the future with, do you really want to be with them? When we’re dating someone, we should if nothing else at least be able to talk about where we might see ourselves a year from now. Communication is not something that you should ever compromise on, and your ideals of the future need to be aligned at least on some level.
13. When you’re partner refuses to allow you to meet the people who matter to him or her.
Your lover might have reasons for not wanting you to meet family or other things like that, but if he or she is closing you off completely from the people who are important to him/her, you need to find someone worth your time. You deserve someone who will allow you to get close and let down their walls. Time is far too precious to waste. If you or someone you know is dealing with a partner who’s exhibiting controlling behaviors, “Breaking Free: Understanding and Overcoming Controlling Partners“ is a must-read.
14. When your partner doesn’t care about your past or other things of the sort.
Your partner should always be someone who cares about you and your past. Your past is part of who you are and it shapes you as the future comes forth. This is a means of getting to know you on a deeper level.
15. When your partner refuses to define the relationship.
Defining the relationship when you feel you need to is important. If your partner refuses to give you at least that, you shouldn’t be with him/her. You are not a toy and you should not have to wonder what the ‘relationship’ is.
Relationship issues cannot be resolved unless they’re talked through. If your partner refuses to deal with the issues you’re going through together you’re going to feel lost and closed off from him/her entirely. This can drive even the most content person mad.
If your partner doesn’t care about your needs or your wants you need to change partners. When you’re in a relationship everyone needs to be taken care of properly. No one should feel like they’re falling through the cracks.
18. When your partner tries to change who you are.
You are a real person and you are the only one who gets to make decisions in your life. Your partner should not be changing you or making you into who he or she wants you to be. There is no need to let someone else create any kind of version of you.
19. When your partner describes you as crazy and always invalidate your feelings.
You are not crazy and your feelings are valid. If your partner cared for you, he or she would make this clear and you would never wonder. Red flags come in all shapes and sizes and this is one of the most important ones to remember.
20. When your partner is someone you walk on eggshells around.
If you hate being around the person you love the most you need some serious change. You should never feel like your partner is forcing you to walk on eggshells and keep you on edge all the time. You deserve to feel safe and secure. Lastly, “The Double Standard Dilemma: Addressing and Overcoming Relationship Inequalities“ touches on the challenges of partners who hold double standards and offers solutions for addressing and resolving these issues.
21. When your partner refuses to put forth any kind of effort into the relationship.
Relationships are not one-way streets. You and your partner should always feel comfortable and content with one another. If you are putting forth more effort than your partner is willing to, things are not going to last.
22. When your partner cheats on you emotionally or otherwise.
Cheating is a very serious issue in the world right now and it is something we should not tolerate. Whether someone is emotionally cheating, physically cheating, or just thinking about cheating, in general, you should not wait around for it to get ‘better.’ These kinds of things never end well.
23. When your partner is too obsessed with you.
You and your partner should be able to function without one another. You are two different people and being co-dependent will only create problems. Existing in this world and spending time on your own are going to go hand in hand whether he or she wants them to or not.
24. When your partner refuses to let you chase your dreams.
Your dreams matter and you should not give them up for a relationship. If you truly want to be something or do something you should go for it. The right lover will stand from the side cheering you on.
25. When your partner guilt trips you every chance they get.
Guilt trips are going to happen from time to time but if your partner is playing this game all the time you should throw the board away and move on. This is a serious form of manipulation and no one should stand for it. It’s a waste of time for all involved.
26. When your partner hides you from the world.
You and your partner should not be closing one another off from the people around you. If you’re being told you cannot go out or see the people you care for, you need to do-so anyways and cut ties with said partner completely. We are not toys and should not be treated as such.
27. When your partner holds you to a double standard.
If your partner thinks he or she can go do things that you cannot and always acts like you calling them out is the end of the world things need to change. Double standards are far too real in current times and are only going to get worse. Either you’re both on the same page or you’re not together at all, point-blank.