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For some reason, we all tend to get caught up in helping others and providing for those who matter the most to us to a point where we forget to cultivate our own sense of happiness. We allow our own wants and needs to fall behind those of everyone else and this shouldn’t be happening.

As we move into the beginning of 2020 you need to try to put yourself first for once. Self-care is not as selfish as most people make it out to be. Rather than thinking of it as an act of selfishness, you should be thinking of it as an act of self-love. 

Stop living life as if going through the motions is all there is to it. Life is what you make of it and if you’re not focusing on your mental, physical, and emotional health overall you’re missing out. If you refuse to work on yourself properly how will you ever work on others in the same way? You can’t help those who need you if you’re unable to help yourself in the first place. Knowing your limits can be the change you’ve been needing.

I personally for the past few years am someone who has fallen victim to a specific way of thinking that has held me back. Rather than saying ‘no’ when I wanted to I agreed to do things that left me feeling drained. I spent far too many nights upset over things other people did and this year, I will not let that happen. 

The year 2020 for me is going to be one filled with positivity and care. I am going to take care of myself in all the ways I should have been all along and I hope you too will find your own ways to accomplish the same. Just because you have what you feel you need in this life does not mean you are thriving properly. You can have food on the table and still be miserable.

Do things that you know are going to make you happy whether the people around you agree with those things or not. Be true to yourself and create a world you want to call home. Stop letting people walk all over you and don’t force yourself to do things that you are miserable when doing. 

In regards to self-care PsychCentral wrote as follows:

Self-care isn’t a selfish act either. It is not only about considering our needs; it is rather about knowing what we need to do in order to take care of ourselves, being subsequently, able to take care of others as well. That is, if I don’t take enough care of myself, I won’t be in the place to give to my loved ones either.

In a few words, self-care is the key to living a balanced life.

Where do you start? Well, there are three golden rules:

1. Stick to the basics. Over time you will find your own rhythm and routine. You will be able to implement more and identify more particular forms of self-care that work for you.

2. Self-care needs to be something you actively plan, rather than something that just happens. It is an active choice and you must treat it as such. Add certain activities to your calendar, announce your plans to others in order to increase your commitment, and actively look for opportunities to practice self-care.

3. What I often emphasize to my clients is that keeping a conscious mind is what counts. In other words, if you don’t see something as self-care or don’t do something in order to take care of yourself, it won’t work as such. Be aware of what you do, why you do it, how it feels, and what the outcomes are.

What is self-care and making progress in regards to me might not be what matches up with you and that is fine. In this world, we all have to figure out what works best for each of us so that moving forward we can grow in the ways we need to. Moving into 2020 do things like make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eat healthier foods, take the time you need to relax, and spend time with the people who actually care about you. 

We cannot keep moving through this world in limbo hoping for change but never being willing to take any kind of initiative towards it. If you want to live a life that makes you happy and proud, get out there and do what needs to be done to ensure that happens. You matter and you deserve to be where you want to be in this world, don’t let anyone tell you anything different.