Human beings are complex individuals with a variety of facets that are truly impossible to ever really understand. Oftentimes, we will have conflicting traits, ideals, and habits that leave us feeling lost, and that is exactly the struggle of the outgoing introvert.
Often referred to as ambiverts, the complex mixture of shyness paired with an outgoing personality is quite confusing. Think about it- you want to be alone, but at the same time you crave the company of others. But, you just can’t seem to put yourself out there.
While it may be difficult to understand if you aren’t one, if you are one, then you will most definitely relate to the following struggles.
People often assume you are extroverted.
Despite your shyness, people assume you are extroverted or a social butterfly. Of course, you may appear that way, but inside, you aren’t quite sure of how or if you even want to reach out to other people.
You hate small talk.
Meaningless talk about things that are menial bore you. You often find yourself finding an excuse to leave a conversation that is seemingly going nowhere.
You enjoy attention, but don’t want to be the center of attention.
While you may crave attention, you don’t want to make a big ordeal out of it. And oftentimes, when you do something to get attention, you immediately try to push the focus away from yourself.
You feel like an alien.
People who are both shy and extroverted may have feelings of confusion regarding their true personality. It’s difficult to understand because of the conflicting overtones of your basic traits.
During a social moment, you make plans- only to drop them when you go back into your introvert hole.
Sometimes, I make plans, because I am feeling extra confident and extroverted that day. However, by the time it comes to actually do the plan- I back out.
You live in your own world.
Oftentimes, you are asked ‘Where are you today? It’s like you are in your own world. And they are kind of right.
You can go from social to anti-social in a matter of moments.
One moment, you may feel like you could go to the biggest party in the world, and confidently greet each person, and then moments later, you don’t want to ‘person’ anymore.
Sometimes, you are all in for group projects….
You wake up on some days, and have enough energy to actively speak with coworkers, friends, etc. to collaborate on a project. In fact, you actually want to talk.
But on other days, you want to be left alone. Forever.
And there again, you are shy and introverted. And that project? You want to avoid it at all costs.
You seem flaky, but you really have good intentions.
Most people assume you are flaky, or wishy-washy, and you don’t mean to be, but sometimes you are a bit flaky.
You are very good at adapting in differing social environments.
While you may not want to be around people all the time, and have very shy qualities, you can pull through no matter what setting you are in.
You are very talkative- to those you know.
Some may think you are too quiet, but your friends and family will attest to the fact that at times, once you get started- you can’t stop. To your closest friends/family, you are very outgoing.
You can’t understand why some people constantly have to be social.
While some people may hangout with friends and family every day of the week- you crave alone time quite often, but when you are in the mood, you can be the total opposite,
You feel anxious meeting new people, but warm up to them quickly once you find common ground with them.
While it may be hard for you to talk to someone you don’t know at first, but once you begin talking, you easily make friends.
People think you are bipolar.
Due to the way your personality traits are conflicting- you may seem like you are bipolar. However, you don’t go back and forth because of mental illness, it is due to your personality,
People are fascinating to you, but they are also exhausting.
People are very intriguing, but they are also very exhausting and frustrating all at the same time.
You start off in party mode- and end up wanting to be in Netflix mode….on the regular.
When you do go out, you start out feeling pumped. Midway through the night, you are plotting your escape to your pajamas.
You can be in a huge social situation, without feeling the need to speak to everyone.
You can enjoy and appreciate a social situation without worrying about being super social. You are very easy going in situations like this.
Many people assume you are completely introverted.
For some, you can appear to be a complete introvert. But that really isn’t the case.
Sometimes, conversations and social interactions drain you.
While you can openly speak to some people without pause, with others, the conversation is draining and leaves you feeling depleted.