Narcissists are some of the hardest people to get away from in general. They are all about control and when they finally get you to do something crazy like marrying them, you’re stuck in a lot of ways.
For those who do not know narcissists are people who suffer from a mental issue known as narcissistic personality disorder. These people tend to lack empathy, need admiration, are quite arrogant, and work to manipulate those around them above all else. They go out of their way to ensure that the people closest to them do nothing but work to help them gain things they want and once that isn’t possible anymore they cut ties.
We don’t know much about narcissistic personality disorder at the moment and what causes it and how to treat it are confusing at best. If you find yourself to close to a narcissist cutting ties at the moment is the best possible option. While being with them might be something you want, it’s not going to be as positive for you as it needs to be and being able to find happiness and live a life that makes you fulfilled is crucial.
Below I am going to go over some things you need to remember about your narcissist when it comes to working to get away from him or her. When you’re divorcing a narcissist they will go out of their way to do all they can to keep you in their grasp. Remaining true to yourself isn’t going to be easy, but it is going to be important.
15 Things You Need To Keep In Mind When Working To Divorce A Narcissist:
1. The more you document things the better.
When it comes to divorcing someone who is so obsessed with his or herself you have to document things. The more you document the more you have to present regarding your case. You should keep up with all that you possibly can.
2. This is not going to be a quick ordeal, period.
While it might seem like a lot, and it might be something you want to get over with quickly, this is going to take awhile. There will be several stages within your divorce and some of them are going to be quite uncomfortable. Your narcissist is going to be making this quite the headache for you.
3. The more you enforce your boundaries the better.
Your boundaries are not to be broken no matter what. The further this thing goes the more he or she is going to push you. You have to really come to terms with what you’re doing and remain adamant regardless of where things are going.
4. He or she is going to try and force you to ‘act’ out.
Your narcissist is going to try and force you to make a fool of yourself to get more. The more that he or she is able to bring out of you the worse off things will end up on your side. This is what he or she wants, point-blank.
5. Giving them a reaction won’t do anyone any good.
The more they push for a reaction the more irritated they become but you should not give in. Reacting to the things they’re doing to try and throw you off isn’t going to help you at all. If anything it is only going to make you feel worse.
6. Your support system is more important than you realize.
The more support you have the better. You need friends and family around to help keep you strong. You need someone to help you get back on your feet, and they’re the people who care about you the most.
7. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared for the worst.
Narcissists do their best to make sure the worst is what you end up with so being prepared for it is crucial. You need to be aware of the worst-case scenario so that in the event that it happens, you’re prepared. Hope for the best but don’t waste all your time expecting to get what you want.
8. The more experienced your lawyer is the better, you need the best in this situation.
Narcissists go out of their way to make things as bad as possible for the person leaving their side. Find a lawyer that is going to be on your side who cares about the things that are happening. The more experienced he or she is the better.
9. He or she is going to try and take everything away from you.
Narcissists want to break the people trying to leave them. The more you work to get away from him or her the more they will do their best to take all they can from you. You’re not going to be getting through this in the ways you might want to. You’re going to have to seriously work towards bettering your situation properly.
Narcissists want to feel like they’ve won something and in making that happen you can progress the divorce quicker. The more you work towards it the easier it becomes. While it might be frustrating to do this, working through it is a big deal.
11. You need to be aware of the traps he or she will set.
Narcissists place traps for their partners to fall into. They do their best to make sure that they’re either coming back or going to be suffering big time. When you’re on your way out of the door, things get rough.
12. Even though they may try to win you back, they do not deserve you.
The more you distance yourself the harder your narcissist might fight to get you back. He or she will turn on that charm and work to make you feel like you’re important. The more control they are able to gain over you the less control you are going to have over how things play out.
He or she isn’t going to just let go. All of the things that have happened throughout your relationship will be brought up and used against you. It doesn’t matter how long things have been, no damage issue is off-limits.
14. Regardless of how exhausted you get you need to stand your ground.
Standing your ground is where you find your personal power. You deserve to be able to live the life you want to live. The more you close yourself off and allow him or her to be in charge of the things going on the worse off you will end up once all is said and done.
15. Reason is blown out of the window when it comes to divorcing a narcissist.
This person is going to try to take all he or she can from you. Divorcing a narcissist is not easy as noted several times above, you deserve better, and you need to keep that in mind. The narcissist isn’t going to allow anything to go the way in which you want it to and that is going to create a lot of problems for everyone.