Intelligence is often thought of as book smarts, or the ability to understand and obtain knowledge. However, it goes far deeper than that.

Emotional intelligence is a facet of intelligence that involves our understanding and ability to manage our emotions. While it has been long understood that men tend to lean towards an intelligent woman, you don’t often hear much discussion of why they prefer emotionally intelligent women.

When it comes to a long-term relationship, one that is heading towards commitment, or at least a continued long-term bond, men tend to seek out emotionally grounded women. And for good reason: emotional intelligence is fundamental to a healthy relationship.

Here are 15 reasons why men prefer emotionally intelligent women in a long-term relationship.

1. They don’t play games.

Emotionally intelligent women do not play games. They are clear on their expectations. And when they say they are going to do something, they stand by that.

2. They compromise.

Emotionally intelligent women understand that there are two sides to a relationship. And while they may have a will of their own, they also know that sometimes, both partners have to sacrifice their desires a little bit to find common ground. In turn, disagreements that would likely cause a major fight in a relationship find a resolution quickly with an emotionally intelligent woman.

3. They are a partner, not an adversary.

In a relationship, one of two things will happen: either a fight will divide the couple, or disagreements will bring them together. It’s important to not want to win but to want to work together as a team. Emotionally intelligent women realize this and do not treat their partners like their enemies.

4. They are mature.

Emotionally intelligent women don’t act childish. They don’t obsess or act jealous or act clingy over their partners. While a clingy or jealous love is fine for a fling, it just simply won’t work in a long-term relationship.

5. They are easier to communicate with.

Emotionally intelligent women are master communicators. They understand how to listen, and they know how to respond in an empathetic way. They aren’t pushy or argumentative all of the time, and in turn, they are easier to communicate with.

6. They are self-aware.

Self-awareness is so important in a relationship. A lot of times, we can become biased to only see our side of things, because that is the side that we are standing on. However, emotionally intelligent women can see when they are wrong, and understand how their actions and behaviors could be viewed by their partner.

7. They are active listeners.

Emotionally intelligent women make great listeners. And it isn’t just that they are great at hearing what other people have to say, instead, they actively listen and participate in the conversation.

8. They understand boundaries.

Boundaries are important in relationships, because they provide barriers and limitations, to ensure lines don’t get crossed. Emotionally immature women (and men alike) don’t often respect boundaries or understand how to create them. An emotionally intelligent woman does understand and respect boundaries.

9. They are ethical.

Having a higher level of emotional intelligence also provides people with the ability to view things from an ethical standpoint. Because they are aware of their own emotions and the emotions of others, it’s easier for them to understand the difference between what’s right and what’s wrong.

10. They are empathetic.

While most women are naturally more empathetic than men, not all women are empathetic. Emotionally immature women tend to lack empathy, without often realizing it. However, an emotionally intelligent woman is extremely empathetic and pays attention to their partner’s feelings and emotions.

11. They remain positive.

An emotionally intelligent woman knows that it’s a waste of time to sit around complaining and being negative. She knows that by doing so, she is only encouraging the negativity, rather than acting to make it better.

12. They experience higher relationship satisfaction with an emotionally intelligent woman.

In a 15-year longitudinal study carried out by Dr. James Parker, he found something interesting. When observing people throughout their young adulthood and into middle adulthood, he found that emotional intelligence was the main predictor of relationship satisfaction and the length of the relationship with the same partner.

13. They are curious about their partners.

Emotionally intelligent women never stop being curious about their partners. They are always asking questions and trying to understand their partner on a deeper level.

14. They are self-sufficient.

Another great thing about emotionally intelligent women is that they are self-sufficient. They don’t depend on their partner to validate them or make them feel whole, they feel that on their own. They understand a healthy relationship doesn’t work under codependency.

15. They are loyal.

Emotionally intelligent women do not enter into a relationship they don’t intend to stay in. When they are in a relationship, they consider it a commitment. And when times get tough, they work hard to keep the relationship, rather than running away at the sign of the first problem.

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