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Being an introvert in an extrovert’s world is exhausting. And while to another introvert, introverted behaviors might be normal, to an outsider looking in, many of our traits seem alien.

It took me a long time to realize this very fact. I spent much of my life not thinking much of my introverted nature. It was what came naturally to me, so I didn’t question it much. The older I have gotten, the more I realize how different an introvert is from an extrovert.

At times, I have tried to be more extroverted, but because it’s simply against my nature, it’s not something that I have ever been able to adhere to very much. Now, I have accepted my introvertedness and made peace with it. Which has got me thinking a lot lately. One of the things that have popped in my mind, is the different traits we empaths have that others don’t understand. Here are some I thought were worth mentioning.

1. We are quiet around most, but talkative around our people.

Introverts tend to be quiet around people they don’t know well, or people they aren’t used to. For newbies, we may seem to be anti-social or even rude, but that isn’t the case. We have to get adjusted to new people and be around them regularly before we get comfortable enough to open up.

2. We would rather spend time alone than surrounded by people.

While most people do not too much care about being alone, we introverts love it. Honestly, we thrive that way. When it comes to a big club filled with people, versus a night at home chilling with our family or by ourselves, we are almost always going to choose the latter.

3. It’s not that we are anti-social, we are socially selective.

The term introvert should never be mistaken for anti-social. We are not anti-social. On the contrary, we love people fiercely. But, we are pretty particular about who we choose to get close to.

4. We need time to wind down after social events.

After a long weekend of social activities and interactions, we need time to ourselves. Because we aren’t naturally inclined to be extroverted, when we have interacted with large groups or for extended periods, we can get a bit burned out.

5. We like deep conversation and don’t too much care for small talk.

Perhaps one of the biggest pet peeves of an introvert is small talk. Since many people socialize and interact this way, when we don’t really have much to say during small talk discussions, most people think we are weird. If you really want to see an introvert open up, discuss a deep topic, like the universe.

6. We are easily overstimulated.

In large crowds, introverts get easily overstimulated. Especially in environments where we have to socialize more than necessary, or are surrounded by social pressure.

7. We like small friend groups, versus large ones.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends. But, I tend to feel more comfortable in a small group of my closest friends, versus being in a big group of people I don’t really know.

8. We are deep.

A lot of the reason why introverted people are so withdrawn is because of the way our mind works. We are constantly thinking things through, analyzing things, and dreaming of new ideas. Anything that is surface level is boring to us. We need deep.

9. We don’t care for unexpected visits.

If you are an extrovert, you probably love for friends to pop by unannounced. For an introvert, though, we need time to prepare and to get our ducks in a row, before a social interaction. When someone pops by unannounced, it places additional stress on our minds.

10. On the same hand, we don’t care for spontaneous group activities.

Another thing introverts don’t care too much about is an unexpected event. When someone invites us somewhere, like to a party or a group outing, we need advanced notice. Otherwise, we may feel like we don’t have time to mentally prepare ourselves.

11. We aren’t bored, even if we look like we are.

Oftentimes, people think I am bored, even when I most definitely am not. I don’t know if it’s because I am quiet, or if it’s because I appear lost in thought. But introverts are pretty easily entertained. Rather than being bored, we are just quiet and contemplative.

12. Sometimes we need social interaction.

Introverts don’t not like social interaction. Actually, we love it. We just don’t love it all the time. Sometimes, we need social interaction, especially if we’ve been off to ourselves for a while.

13. We don’t too much care for attention-seekers.

Attention-seeking behaviors are a major turn-off to introverts. We don’t want the attention drawn to us, and we don’t tend to gravitate towards people who need constant attention. We like things to be relaxed and chill.