When we move on from someone whether they are toxic or not, it can be hard to really cut all the ties that need to be cut. Even when far away from this person, they still can end up being all that is on our minds.
Whether someone hurt you or not doesn’t change the feelings you have for them. You can love someone who has run you through the gutter and you can hate someone who has done nice things for you. That is just how things are sometimes. Moving on from someone you cannot be with is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in life.
There are tons of different situations and reasons why you cannot be together but at the end of the day, the fact that you cannot be with one another is the thing you need to remember. Below I am going to go over some of the best tips for working to detach yourself from this person. Some of these things will be much harder to make happen than others, but they are all very important. If you do these things, eventually you will be in a much better place within your own mind.
12 Ways To Begin Detaching Yourself From Someone You Cannot Be With:
1. Give yourself a little time to grieve what ‘could have been but never was.’
While it might seem a bit silly to grieve a relationship you never had but it helps. When you allow yourself to sit back and really feel the things you’re feeling, you are going to be able to heal much quicker. If you lock everything away and never see it through properly, you’re only going to end up even sadder.
2. Find something you enjoy doing.
Get out there and have some fun. Find something you like to do and really go for it. Life is too short to spend it locked away crying over someone who is out in the world living his or her life. Be the you that you want to be as best you can.
3. Put yourself out there and start looking for more.
For a while, you won’t want to do anything or go anywhere but putting yourself out there is going to help tremendously. For some of us, moving on is not something easy to begin without really diving in. Find someone to spend your time with. Perhaps you will end up falling more than you had imagined you would.
4. Forgive yourself and the other person for the situation at hand.
Don’t hold any negative feelings towards yourself or this person. Sure, things didn’t work or couldn’t be but that doesn’t mean that you should hate one another. Move forward on a positive note and let go of any anger you’ve been bottling within.
Sometimes the best thing for situations like this is distance. The closer you are to one another the more you may feel for this person. If you want these feelings to die down, sometimes cutting ties is the best option. Weigh things out and see what will work best for you. At the very least limit your interactions with this person as much as possible.
6. Talk things through with this person if you feel it is necessary.
This one won’t be easy but sometimes it is necessary depending on the situation at hand. If you need closure of any kind sit down and talk things out with this person. Move forward as you see fit but don’t force yourself to go through life wondering years down the line. You would be surprised how freeing a simple conversation can be.
7. Work on letting go of the fantasy.
If the situation is one that you’ve created on your own perhaps letting go of the fantasy is your best option. That person might not be who you think he or she is and you might never end up where you want to be regardless. Be realistic and find something that you can put your all into.
8. Lean on your support system.
Your friends and family are going to be there for you when you need them the most. Whether you feel silly talking about it or not, they will hear you out. Sometimes getting things off your chest will really benefit you.
9. Remind yourself that it takes time.
This is not something that you can or will get over in just a matter of days. It takes time to heal a heart even if the relationship was never a relationship, to begin with. You are not going to feel better overnight, remind yourself of this as often as you need to.
10. Write things out and then destroy them.
Write out your feelings, get everything down on paper and then burn it. This will allow you to open up without creating tension. Of course, it will feel silly but it makes a big difference.
11. Focus on loving yourself and engage in more self-care.
You matter more than you tend to realize and you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself above all else. Work on loving yourself and doing what you need to do to feel better. Your well-being is important, never forget that.
12. Make peace with all that the past has been.
Think through the past and make peace with it. Sure, you may have some memories with this person, but he or she isn’t the person you’re going to spend your life with. The future could hold so much more for you and you need to be ready for it to come forth.