While not everyone is good at reading the moods of others, some of us can spot someone who is mad or upset from ‘a mile away.’ If you want to help boost someone’s mood then knowing what to say and when to say it is important.
Whether you’re comforting a friend, family member, coworker, or even just someone you’ve met recently helping boost their mood isn’t always going to be easy. Sometimes we find ourselves around those who are radiating negative energies, and they can be a bit hard to disarm. That being said, with a little kindness you can manage to accomplish a lot.
Below I am going to go over some things that you can say to make someone feel better in most situations. Whether you know what they’re struggling with or not making them feel better can sometimes be something as simple as giving a compliment. People are a lot easier to please than we tend to stop and realize.
12 Things To Say When You Want To Make Someone Feel Better:
1. ‘Thank You.’
A simple thank you can go much further than most people stop to consider. When someone does something for you saying thank you should come naturally. If someone is in a bad mood or clearly down remembering to say thank you could be more than enough to at least bring a slight smile to their face. It’s small things like this that help keep the world spinning.
2. ‘Yes.’
Agree with them wholeheartedly in what they are saying. Don’t bring forth any side issues or try to flip the table and make things about you. Just say yes and let them feel acknowledged. For instance, if someone says something like ‘it’s been a rough one today hasn’t it?’ and you can tell they’ve really been through something just say yes. This will make them feel less alone and also allow them a bit of validation.
3. Give them a compliment.
Compliment them on something they’re wearing or something they’ve done. ‘You’re so good at ___’ or even ‘I love that top stripes are my favorite’ can work wonders for a person’s self-esteem. In this manner, you’re really boosting their confidence.
4. Don’t close them off use ‘how,’ ‘why,’ and other things of the sort.
When they come to you for advice or to vent don’t close them off. Ask them questions in regards and make sure they feel like you’re truly hearing them out. For instance, if they say they’re struggling with something ask them how they’re struggling and help them work out a means of getting through. In this sense, we’re not questioning them but more-so trying to understand them properly.
5. ‘Great Job!’
Praise in this manner goes a long way. We all love to be told we’re doing well in life. If you appreciate the job your coworker did in filing your papers or perhaps the cooking your spouse made don’t be afraid to make exactly that known. It means a lot more than you might realize in the present moment.
6. ‘I appreciate your hard work.’
Making them feel good about the things they’ve done or are doing can make them also feel appreciated and cared for. For instance, if someone is coming over to see you or perhaps someone is doing something for you showing them that you’re glad that they’re present and doing exactly that is important. Keep in mind that even though they’re upset or angry they’re still being there for you in the ways that they can. You might say something like ‘I’m so glad you came to pick me up, thanks so much.’
7. Apologize where it is needed.
Sometimes we need to apologize even if we don’t necessarily feel we’ve done anything to apologize for or if we’re not sure of what we did. If you hurt someone just because you don’t understand the pain doesn’t mean the pain is not there. A simple ‘I’m sorry’ could mean the world to this person and won’t sour your day, just do it.
8. Let them know that it’s okay to be upset.
If you see someone falling apart and you’re their shoulder to cry on don’t make them feel bad about feeling down and out. Let them know that sometimes we all feel down and out and that it’s okay to feel those negative emotions but it’s not okay to give them power. Let them know that while today might suck tomorrow could be better.
9. Agree with them and make them feel valid.
Don’t just brush over their comments like they’re nothing. If they’re saying that it’s too hot to be out and about agree and engage them in conversation. This could easily get their mind off of whatever is bothering them and give them a moment of peace in their own minds. You never know what another person is going through.
10. ‘I’m so glad that ____.’
While it might not always feel like it, making someone aware that you’re pleased with the things they’re doing or have done is a great way to make them feel better throughout the day. For instance, if someone does something for you making them aware of how happy you are with the job they did will make them feel as though they’ve really accomplished something. Even the smallest task deserves praise.
11. Acknowledge them, don’t ignore them.
If you’ve noticed someone who is in a bad mood but still trying to make it through the day, don’t ignore them. They might be trying their best to hide their feelings and by ignoring them you’re making it clear to them that they’re not doing a good job of that. Just carry on as per usual and be a little nicer than usual to help them perk back up. Say things like ‘good morning’ or ‘how was your night?’ engage with them, don’t pretend they’re not around.
12. Ask them if they’re okay.
While it might be hard for them to open up and might not be something they want to talk about letting them know that you care is important and allows them an outlet if they need one. You could just say something like ‘you don’t seem yourself today, everything alright?’ and that would be more than enough. It doesn’t have to be a long-drawn-out phrasing or anything of the sort.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/domestic-intelligence/200905/the-science-praise
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-switch-off-an-angry-person/