Finding out your partner is cheating is perhaps one of the most difficult things you can go through in life. What’s even more difficult is when the partner insists they will stop – but continues to betray you time and time again.

Oftentimes, we have a sneaking suspicion that our partner is cheating. We may just feel it in our gut, or we may start to realize there are major red flags right in front of our face. And while in some cases, cheating partners can be sloppy- leaving a trail of breadcrumbs right to the affair, others aren’t so obvious.

But, no matter how obvious a person may or may not make their betrayal- there will always be subtle hints that show what is truly happening. With that being said, here are 12 things cheating partners do without even realizing it.

1. They frequently pick fights with you.

A cheating partner will stop at nothing to get what they want, which is ultimately the ability to have their affair. In turn, they will pick fights with their current partner, so they can storm out. This allows them to meet their lover. This also may be a subconscious way they rationalize the affair.

2. They “forget” to tell you about a night out.

Cheaters operate on a need-to-know basis. Rather than being forthcoming about their coming and going, a cheater will hide things from you. Then, when the incident comes up, they will tell you they must have “forgot” to tell you about the night they went out.

3. They hesitate to make any big decisions with you.

Rather than wanting to build a life with you, their current partner, a cheating spouse will hesitate to make a large purchase or commitment with you. Such commitments show that they still envision their future with you, but when they begin to hesitate and backstep, it could mean they are trying to find an out.

4. Your sex life changes drastically.

A cheater will either start having sex with you more, to cover the cheating, or they will start having sex with you less because their needs are satisfied. The ultimate difference between the two will depend on the personality of your partner. But if you notice a drastic change, something could be up.

5. They rock back and forth.

Body language expert Lillian Glass Ph.D., explains that “Rocking back and forth shows they are nervous around you.” If you are in a relationship, and your partner seems nervous to talk to you- they are most likely hiding something.

6. They buy you a lot of gifts.

Cheating partners will feel guilty deep down inside. To soothe their guilt, they will make purchases of guilt gifts. If for seemingly no reason you are starting to get a lot of gifts from your partner, and there are other signs and gut feelings you are getting- this is a bad sign.

7. They smell like someone else.

Cheaters may overlook the fact that their lover left their scent on them after their last encounter. They may have the lingering perfume of hairspray scent on them or smell like cologne. When you notice an unfamiliar scent on your partner that is unexplainable it could mean they are cheating.

8. They suddenly are spending more time grooming themselves.

Cheating partners will likely begin to care more about their appearance than usual. You may notice them buying new cologne, investing in a new haircut, or buying clothes that aren’t their usual style. While this can be a completely normal thing- if you have a gut feeling something is up, and then they start caring more about their appearance while spending less time with you, something is likely up.

9. They stop saying “I Love you.”

When your partner is cheating, you may notice they pull back from you emotionally and physically. They may cut calls and texting short, and stop saying they love you.

10. They use different sexual moves.

During sex, you may notice they start to use a different approach or prefer something you have never given them. While it could be them trying to spice things up- new sexual techniques can be a bad sign, especially if there are other signs present, like the frequency of sex.

11. They are constantly on social media.

If you notice your partner spends more and more time on social media, and that they are interacting with other women’s content (women you’ve never met or heard of) you have every right to ask who that person is. David Klow, a licensed family therapist says “Talk with your partner about the other people you each interact with,” continuing, he explains “Knowing this can build a stronger sense of security.”

12. Their tastes suddenly shift.

If your partner has always enjoyed rap music and suddenly wants to listen to rock music, they might be investing their attention in different music because their new lover likes it. You may also notice a shift in hobbies, interests, dining, and clothing. If your partner is suddenly shifting into a new persona and spending less time with you- they are likely cheating.

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