When we envision love – the last thing we expect is to enter into a relationship that makes us more unhappy than it does happy. However, unfortunately, sometimes that is the case.
We want more than anything to be happy in our relationships, to be fulfilled, and to feel wanted and to feel loved. But, sometimes, when we are in the wrong relationship, or when our relationship falls on difficult times, we feel the complete opposite. And in some cases, our relationships can cause us to become depressed.
When this happens, it can be hard to accept. We may want to blame any other aspect on our discomfort, rather than face the fact that our relationship is the root of our discomfort. But, the sooner we realize this, the sooner we can make necessary adjustments in our life to find ourselves again.
1. Your partner controls you.
You feel powerless over your own life. Any time you try to make a decision of your own or do something for yourself in the relationship, your partner tries to control you even more. This is unhealthy because ultimately, even when we are in a relationship, we are still autonomous (or should be) individuals who need space and power over our own lives.
2. Your partner is always criticizing you.
There is a difference between constructive criticism and criticism. However, when your partner is constantly tearing you apart and making hateful remarks about you and your actions- it can ultimately push you to the point of depression. No one likes to be made to feel they aren’t enough, and that is the message these behaviors send.
3. You feel better when you are alone.
When your partner is away, you feel free. You find that you are happier in your own company, versus when you are with your partner, and it makes you feel sad.
4. You dread spending time with your partner.
And when it is time to spend time with your partner – there is a sense of dread and anxiety. You know that the encounter will be a negative experience, and so you become depressed even before you spend time together.
5. You have no input into anything in your relationship.
Your partner doesn’t care to have your input- it’s their way or the highway. In turn, you are beginning to feel like you have no say in anything, and it makes you feel powerless.
6. The relationship feels codependent.
There is a difference between codependency and healthy love. Codependency is love because you feel like you need the other person to feel whole. This might sound like a good thing to some who have never been in a codependent relationship, but we aren’t supposed to be in a relationship because we feel addicted to the other person in an unhealthy way. We are supposed to want to be with them because we want to.
7. Your relationship feels like a burden.
When you think of your relationship overall, it feels like a burden you must carry. You are no longer in it because it’s something you want to be a part of, but a bit of baggage that you carry around like a massive weight on your shoulders.
8. You feel isolated from friends.
Being in a relationship shouldn’t separate you from the people that you love. And one of the leading causes of depression in relationships is the feeling of isolation or feeling like you have a lack of outside support, according to a study carried out by the University of Michigan.
9. The relationship is one-sided.
If you find you are putting in all of the effort and initiative, it can become draining. Relationships are supposed to be two people working together as a team. Not one person pulling all of the weight.
10. Laughter has been replaced with tears.
There will be difficult times in all relationships. However, when the hard times are more present than the good times – something is amiss.
11. You are scared of the future of the relationship.
Uncertainty is an inescapable truth of life. But, when you are fearful of where your relationship is heading, it can weigh on you tremendously. And ultimately – it can end up causing relational depression.
12. Your partner does not support you.
Support is fundamental to a happy and healthy relationship. Without support, you can feel more alone in your relationship than you do when you are alone. And this is especially so when the support is one-sided, and you find that you are always giving support but never receiving any in return.