We all go through things in life but when it comes to men most are not the best about being vocal about their struggles. Chances are he hasn’t opened up much about that part of himself but that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
A lot of the time men who are what you might consider being ‘broken’ don’t even realize that is what they are. We all have our own issues, and we all deal with those issues in our own ways. While the guy you are with might have started out as your knight in shining armor, that doesn’t always last.
Below I am going to go over some of the things that many of us have noticed throughout our time dating broken men and what has helped build those men up rather than force them further down. Sometimes a little help in the right area can make the difference that perhaps no one knew was even possible. As human beings, we all make mistakes and go through issues and that is something that everyone should keep in mind when facing a situation like this.
12 Signs The Man You’re Dating Is Broken:
When a man is broken down his confidence is broken down as well. He will feel as if he is inadequate and unable to please. This leaves him unwilling to really hold his own for many reasons. Oftentimes he ends up feeling like any and all women who look his way deserve better.
2. He tends to be a bit more controlling than most other men.
Broken men are lacking something within and because of that, they spend a lot of time trying to find a sense of control. Sadly, that sense of control tends to come in the form of controlling others. Don’t let this one slide, sit down and make it clear that you are not a toy.
3. He is constantly distancing himself from you without realizing it.
When someone is hurt they do their best to cut themselves off from others. While you might not see the signs and he might not know he is even doing it, distancing himself little by little is his way of making sure he doesn’t get hurt again. He might withdraw slowly and eventually cut ties completely if you cannot or do not reel his attention back in.
4. He refuses to really give his all.
Being with someone who has been or is broken can be frustrating because while you’re coming all this way and giving all of your efforts they are not. They are holding back and operating from a place of standing still. This is because they are nervous and unaware of what could be to come. They do not want to offer more because they do not want to lose what little they have left.
5. He gives up easily.
If he gives up easily then he has likely been let down a lot in his life. The more he was let down the easier it became for him to just accept things. He doesn’t get his hopes up and when something doesn’t work out, he just stops. Giving up is something he has gotten very good at.
6. He struggles with letting things go.
Men who have been broken tend to hold onto the things they shouldn’t hold onto far too intensely. They do not let go of grudges and are always on edge. When something happens they dwell on it for as long as they possibly can and it can drive a serious wedge between the two of you.
7. He is very cautious.
Because of the things he has been through he doesn’t just dive into things. He is more cautious than most others because he knows how painful it can be to lose all you thought you had. When it comes to sticking by his side, you are going to be ‘tried’ often and this can be quite stressful.
8. When something is bothering him, he opts to be alone.
Broken men are a bit concerning in the way that they deal with their emotions. They do not often talk things out. When something gets under their skin, they close themselves off and face it alone. They come back with a smile and refuse to admit that anything happened in the first place and from there more arguments and problems grow.
9. He doesn’t give second chances.
If you make a mistake when you’re dating a broken man, that’s the end of everything. He will not give you any second chances. You get one chance and one chance only. If you hurt him even the slightest bit he will jump ship.
10. He doesn’t talk much about his past.
Talking about his past is not something he is willing to do. He doesn’t like to open up or let people know what he has been through. The problems he has are his to bear and he does not like to share.
11. He is not quick to give out trust.
Broken men don’t trust freely. If you want their trust you have to earn it. You cannot just come into their lives and expect them to be open with you. Like most things with broken men, this takes a lot of time.
12. He is constantly comparing himself to other people.
Because of the things he has faced in his life, he is always comparing himself to others. He doesn’t think he is good enough for anyone and because of that is always seeking to figure out where he stands. While you may not understand this, it hits home hard for him.
Helping Him Heal
Helping him heal is not going to be easy and it might be more trouble than it’s worth depending on your situation. That being said, helping him heal is not as complicated as most would assume. By building his confidence and showing him that he can trust in you, you can allow him to find himself in the ways he needs to. Working with him to get through those past problems and pains can be frustrating but for many, it is worth it.
For more on helping him become the person he knows he can be and deserves to be, feel free to check out the video below. While he will have to do a lot on his own, you being by his side will benefit greatly. Loving a broken man isn’t the end of the world, it can grow into something so much bigger than you might have expected if you’re willing to put the work in. Communication is one of the most important things in this kind of relationship dynamic and the better you both get at it, the more your relationship will thrive.