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If you didn’t know any better, you’d likely believe that a toxic man is easy to spot. However, many toxic men are very skilled at hiding who they are and pretending to be someone they are not.

From the outside looking in, many toxic men may seemingly be normal. However, upon close inspection, if you know what you are looking for, you can spot the traits of a toxic man and proceed with caution. If you are unsure of how to detect a toxic man, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Below is a list of 12 common traits that can easily reveal a toxic man, so you know how to proceed in your relations with him.

Here are the 12 signs that reveal a toxic man.

1. He refuses to see things from your perspective.

Any time you try to express how you feel, he cannot understand where you are coming from. He is rude and dismissive of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and it leaves you feeling defeated. It’s almost as though he can only see one perspective: his. Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People” by Jackson MacKenzie. This book offers guidance on recognizing and recovering from the impacts of being in a relationship with toxic individuals.

2. He is extremely judgmental.

He is always talking badly about others and criticizing them. No matter what the situation is or what the circumstances are, he acts as though he knows better than anyone else. It’s almost as though he views himself as perfect, and the rest of the world can’t reach his high standards.

3. He has a victim mentality.

If you notice that a man is always playing the victim with everyone, it’s a bad sign. He may call all of his exes crazy, and everyone that is no longer in his life has wronged him in some way. But, when you dig deeper, his stories simply don’t add up. The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook: Healing From Emotional Abuse” by Amy Marlow-MaCoy, LPC. For those experiencing gaslighting and manipulation, this workbook provides practical exercises to identify gaslighting and recover from its effects.

4. He is a pathological liar.

When a man lies about simple things, especially regularly, he is going to lie about big things later on. Be wary of someone that you are always catching in a lie or a partial untruth. If he is only telling you what you want to hear, he is manipulating you and manipulating the truth.

5. He is the ultimate hypocrite.

It’s always “Do as I say, not as I do,” with him. Everyone else should live up to his standards, well, except for him. And while he would like to believe that he is perfect, he rarely lives up to the standards he sets for others.

6. He’s fake charming.

Be wary of people who are fake charming. It’s one thing to be nice or to be a kind and gentle person, but it’s something else entirely to pretend to be someone that you are not. If he acts excessively charming in one moment, but when isolated he acts entirely different, this is a bad sign.

7. He takes advantage of others.

If you find that everyone is always giving to him and he just takes and takes and takes, then he is taking advantage. And if he takes advantage of his friends, family, and even strangers, he will likely eventually take advantage of you. Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty… and Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself” by Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD. For those who struggle with a partner who is judgmental or critical, this book encourages readers to embrace their authentic selves and stand up to toxic behavior.

8. He is possessive.

A man who has possessive and obsessive traits when it comes to relationships is toxic more often than not. If he is already acting this way in the early stages, it’s a bad indicator that further down the line, he may end up having abusive tendencies. Even if he doesn’t, being possessive and controlling is enough of a deal-breaker to cut ties immediately.

9. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

Pay attention to how a person owns up to their mistakes and their actions in general. If he is constantly saying, “That’s not my fault,” or, “I’m not sorry for that,” when they do something wrong, they likely are not someone who takes responsibility for their lives and their actions.

10. He always has to be the center of attention.

It’s one thing to be an extrovert, which is harmless. However, when you are trying to tell him about your day and he interrupts you to say something about yourself, proceed with caution. Someone who always has to be the center of attention likely is highly narcissistic.

11. He assigns false emotions to you.

If you are trying to express your emotions and he interrupts you and says, “Why are you so angry?” This can end up being a problem. There are other ways this is displayed, but put simply when someone is always assuming your feelings rather than listening to you when you try to express them, this is a form of toxic projection.

12. You have a bad gut feeling you cannot shake.

Deep down, something is off about him and you know it. He always makes you feel bad about yourself, even if he doesn’t do it in an obvious way. And if you find yourself battling about whether or not someone is toxic, your instincts are likely trying to tell you something.

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P.S. The reason so many men “pull away” from women is because
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