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As humans, we have deep emotional needs that need to be fulfilled, especially in a relationship. And when our needs aren’t getting met, it can leave us feeling confused, disappointed, and unsatisfied.

In turn, we feel neglected by our partners. Of course, it isn’t always blatantly obvious when our partner is emotionally neglecting us in a relationship. Even when it is, we may want to give them the benefit of the doubt, because we love them. However, there are some cases in which you simply cannot give a situation the benefit of the doubt, and then you have to face the facts.

While it may be difficult, the only way to find a resolution and get your needs met, is to notice there is a problem in the first place. With that in mind, here are 12 signs of emotional neglect in a relationship.

1. Your partner shuts down, often.

During conversations or arguments, they become defensive quite quickly. When they become defensive, rather than talking things through, they shut down and walk away. In turn, you feel like you can never effectively communicate with them.

2. They always divert the attention back to them.

When you are talking to them about something important to you, they turn the conversation around to refocus on themselves. You barely ever get to talk about yourself and things that are important to you, because they insist that the focus always is on them.

3. The relationship feels one-sided.

Everything about the relationship feels one-sided. You find that you are always the one making the effort, always the one trying to work through problems, and are always the one who is supportive and loving.

4. They don’t make eye contact.

When you are talking to them, they rarely make eye contact. Either they aren’t paying attention, because they are on their phone, or they are in their little world in their mind, but regardless, it makes you feel as though they don’t want to be around you.

5. They forget about things that are important to you, often.

When you tell them about an important upcoming event, they forget. They forget about a lot of important things you tell them, and they don’t act sorry about it either.

6. You feel unsupported.

You never feel supported when you tell them the exciting news. Because of that, you’ve stopped going to them first when good things happen.

7. They refuse to talk about relationship problems.

When you bring a problem in the relationship to their attention, they refuse to acknowledge it. While you don’t want to argue, every time you try to communicate your feelings they act like you are trying to start a fight and shut down and stonewall you. In turn, nothing ever gets resolved.

8. When you seek comfort from them, they always say the wrong thing.

In moments when you need encouragement and comfort, they never say the right thing. They may turn the situation around on you, or instead, get technical and say something completely irrelevant to how you feel. You can never rely on them for emotional support.

9. You feel alone when you are with them.

Even when you are with them, you feel completely alone. You feel less alone when you are literally alone.

10. You feel like you have to suppress your emotions.

When you bring your emotions to the table, they either shut you down, ignore you, or talk over you, and because of that, you try to hold your emotions in. But, holding your emotions in is making life and the relationship far more difficult than they should be.

11. They interrupt you constantly.

When you are talking to them, they randomly interrupt you and completely ignore the fact that you were talking about something, even when it’s something really important. They make you feel like your thoughts and feelings simply don’t matter.

12. They never empathize with you.

And when you are hurting and upset, they can never see anything from your vantage point. You find that you are always having to explain your feelings to them, and it never quite gets through to them.