While he might make you feel crazy, that doesn’t mean you are. A lot of the time we end up in relationships with toxic people who break us down for their own gain, when these people make themselves known we need to cut ties.
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are good for you. Sometimes we allow emotionally toxic people to get way closer to our hearts than they should. If you are thinking about whether your significant other is emotionally toxic or not should speak volumes in regards to figuring it out. Below I am going to go over some of the things that can help you pinpoint whether someone in your life is holding you back and tearing you down or if you’re just overthinking things. If your significant other does these things, you should not be giving them the time of day.
To better understand and navigate through such complex relationship dynamics, “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend can be a profound read.
12 Signs That Your Significant Other Is Emotionally Toxic:
1. They force you to stick around.
They do everything they can to get you to stick around. The more you try to pull away, the more they try to draw you in. They refuse to change, but they also won’t let you go.
2. They never follow through with anything.
They never do anything they say that they will. While they might say that they are going to do things and act as if they will follow through, they never truly do. It’s like no matter what you ask them to do, they just can’t provide.
“Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft can provide a deeper insight into understanding such behaviors.
3. They are always trying to get lies over on you.
They are always lying to you and trying to force you into believing them. They want you to feel as if your perception of reality is flawed or not real. They do their best to make you seem crazy, even when you aren’t.
4. They never take responsibility for his own actions.
They never take responsibility for their own actions. They never own up to their mistakes and don’t spend any time trying to. You end up having to make excuses for them constantly.
5. They get jealous all the time over nothing.
They are always jealous over the smallest things. Being with them is far more complicated than it is worth. You can’t even talk to another person without them freaking out.
6. They are constantly blaming you for things.
They are always blaming you for things that you didn’t do. They act as if you are messing up, but you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s like you’re a punching bag and that is never okay.
7. They argue with you over nothing and never communicate.
They are always picking fights with you, but are never willing to sit down and talk. You never communicate with one another properly, and it is a big issue. The problems before you two never seem to get resolved.
8. You are always trying to please this person.
Nothing you ever do is good enough for them; the more you do, the less the acknowledge. They just don’t seem to care at all about your efforts.
For those feeling trapped in the cycle of trying to please, “The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome” by Harriet Braiker offers valuable strategies to break free.
9. They make rude remarks about your insecurities.
They are always bringing you down and making fun of you. If you are insecure about something, they will bring it up time and time again. They always bring these things up, no matter how many times you ask them not to.
10. They are always trying to change you.
They don’t like you for who you are or accept you at all. They are always trying to change you. The more of your true self you show, the less they seem to like you.
11. You don’t like being around them now that their true colors are shown.
You find yourself constantly walking on eggshells and the more time you spend with them, the more on edge you are. You actually enjoy the time you spend apart from them.
12. They refuse to focus their attention on you but want all of yours.
They want you to be giving them all of your attention, but will not give you all of theirs in return. They want you to be stuck waiting around while they are out having fun. This kind of thing never works for any of the people involved.
Exploring “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself” by Melody Beattie can be a stepping stone towards personal liberation and healthier relationships.
If someone in your life does the things listed above, don’t let them keep a place in your life. You don’t need to be with anyone who is holding you back. You deserve so much better, and the time for that is NOW!