There is nothing wrong with being nice, especially in a world full of darkness and cynicism. However, there comes a point in which we are being too nice to others, and let go of our own needs, which can become a problem.

Once upon a time, I was one of those people. I was a people-pleaser, who was far nicer to others than I was myself. I would stop at nothing to make everyone else happy, while all of my own needs and desires fell to the wayside. Just like everything else in life, there is a need for balance.

You can be kind to others, while also honoring your own needs. Just be careful not to be too nice, because eventually, you may encounter one of these 12 bad things that happen when you are too nice.

1. You do things that go against your own needs.

When you are constantly doing things for others, and saying yes to everyone, you will eventually start doing things that go against your own needs and boundaries. It’s easy to lose sight of your own boundaries when your main priority becomes the happiness of everyone else.

2. You get burned out.

People who are too kind often get burned out. They thrive off of making other people happy and meeting other people’s needs, and end up overextending themselves.

3. You do things you don’t want to all the time.

In life, it’s normal to do things you don’t want sometimes, and sometimes even necessary, but when you are constantly filling up your time with activities you don’t really want to partake in, it can become a problem. Learn to say no.

4. People begin to expect you to bend to their will.

When you are constantly kind to others and want to please them, they will learn to expect you to do whatever they wish. They may learn to depend on you to do for them, and stop doing for themselves, and when you finally say no, they will misunderstand you finally honoring your own needs.

5. You grow to resent others.

The burden of constantly being kind to others, and doing doing doing for everyone but yourself can make you resent the people you are helping and pleasing. Inadvertently, you will start to resent others, because you have failed to set healthy boundaries in place.

6. People take advantage of you.

People who are not the best will take advantage of someone who is extremely kind. Manipulative people seek out people who are nice and people who are givers, and they will take advantage of you until you set boundaries and tell them no.

7. People don’t respect you.

Respect is demanded, and while you would think that being kind would merit respect, you have to show yourself respect as well. That means being kind to others, while also honoring yourself as well.

8. You stop being kind to yourself.

When our attention is pushed to the extremes of being constantly kind to everyone else, it can be hard to extend that same kindness to yourself. Your needs move to the wayside and are replaced by everyone else’s needs. Strive for balance.

9. You attract the wrong people.

People with bad intentions seek out extremely kind people in order to get what they want. They see someone who is kind as someone who is weak, especially when your kindness goes above and beyond. Learn to set boundaries and learn to say no, and these types of people will remove themselves from your life with quickness.

10. People will mistake you as a fake.

While it’s admirable to be kind and to be nice to everyone, not many people are. This may cause people to view you as fake or see you as having an ulterior motive. When I was constantly trying to make others happy, it was hard for people to take me seriously. As I’ve learned about boundaries- my relationships have improved immensely.

11. You never get a break.

Life is chaotic and busy anyway, but it becomes increasingly difficult to kick back and relax when you are trying to please everyone else. And while no one has a day jam-packed with ‘me-time,’ if you don’t make that time a priority, no one else will.

12. You end up having to back out of plans.

It’s easy to get overloaded with plans when you find it hard to say no to others. You may end up double-booked, or after you were in the moment and said no to be kind, you may realize you simply just can’t. Then, you end up canceling plans and doing exactly what you tried so hard to avoid- disappointing others. Disappointing others is inevitable in life because your needs won’t always match someone else’s. Learn to be okay with that.

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