When it comes to dating far too often we find ourselves with people who want to control us. They want us to live the lives they want and push us to be versions of ourselves that align better with who they are.

While you might not realize it, controlling partners are everywhere. They start off as positive and accepting only to push the person who cares for them the most to become someone they are not. Controlling partners, boyfriends especially make sure that a connection becomes strong before he begins picking away at the pieces of who his partner is.

While they might call themselves protective and say that they have your best interest in mind, the truth is they just want more power. Controlling partners are all working towards the same thing. They want to be in a power position over their lover. They need that sense of control or possession and will stop at nothing to get it. 

Below I am going to go over some of the more common signs that your partner is controlling or working to control you. These things should not be happening in a relationship and need to be stopped immediately. Whether you’re stuck in something toxic or just going down the wrong rabbit hole, this article might help get things back on track.

11 Warning Signs Your Boyfriend Is Controlling:

1. They are always jealous and never willing to truly trust you.

They don’t like any of your friends or coworkers. Nothing you do to remind them of your dedication will get them to trust you and it leaves you feeling stressed and frustrated. You are never capable of getting them on your side and it feels like you’re fighting a losing battle. They want you to cut everyone off that might be a ‘threat’ to them and it’s exhausting.

2. They never just takes your word for things.

When you say something they always question it. Nothing you bring to the table is ever good enough. They have to do their own snooping to verify, or they won’t stop going on and on.

3. They always pitch a fit when things don’t go their way.

When things don’t go their way they make a scene. They leave you ready to change your mind and do whatever it was they wanted. You have to give in because they just won’t stop.

4. They go through your phone constantly (without reason).

While you never have anything on your phone and don’t do anything suspicious, they always look through it. If they trusted you they wouldn’t be doing this. This is a serious invasion of privacy.

5. They always have to know what you’re doing and where you are.

Whether you’re visiting your mom or out with friends, they are blowing up your phone. They want you to talk them every second you’re apart and it leaves you unable to enjoy yourself. You just can’t spend time with loved ones, you have to bring him along or constantly be texting to keep in touch.

6. They always criticize everything you do.

Nothing you do is good enough for them. Everything you do is criticized by them, and they make sure to create a big issue over it all. You could do what they want and still get complained over based on how you do it.

7. They try to tell you what you can and cannot wear.

They want to and works hard to control your wardrobe. You cannot wear certain things without them by your side, and they are always picking apart your outfits. This is because they see you as property, period.

8. They don’t like anyone close to you.

All of the people who matter to you are people they don’t like. They create reasons to hate everyone that you care for and do this to close you off from them. Over time, they will inch you further and further away from them.

9. They use guilt to get you to do whatever they want.

No matter how hard you try to please them, it’s not possible. They will always convince you to do what they want and never allow you to be yourself. They use guilt against you and never do anything without expecting something in return.

10. They never actually let you have alone time.

Whenever you need alone time they push to have themselves inserted into it. You cannot get away from them. You have to fight tooth and nail to get an hour or so on your own away from them.

11. They are always wanting to pick a fight and make sure their influence is clear.

They want to argue all the time and do this as a means of showing their power. Through picking a fight with you they make it clear that they are in charge. You are meant to melt under their control, and they won’t stop until you do.