Skip to main content

If you are trying to find the right person, knowing where to begin can seem daunting. There is many fish in the sea, but not all of them are the right match.

Thankfully, there are some simple keys to use to help make sure you are attracting the right person. Unfortunately, much like anything else, when you are unsure of your clear intentions when entering the dating world, you can end up attracting the wrong energy. For example, if your goal is to find a partner you can share your life with, you might want to be clear on what type of person that is, so that you can make sure you filter future potential partners through that lens.

With that said, here are some helpful tips to attract the right person into your life.

1. Be authentic.

The person that you are presenting yourself as is the person that people are going to assume that you are- I know, that might sound obvious, but we do live in a world where it is not only easy to portray yourself as someone you are not, it’s pretty much encouraged. Stop worrying about the approval of others, and instead, embrace yourself and put that energy out there. Otherwise, you may unintentionally attract the wrong partner.

2. Make sure you are aligned with the partner you are seeking.

If you want a partner who prioritizes their career, you need to prioritize your career. If you want a partner who is into fitness, what sense would it make for you to demand that of someone else, if fitness was the last priority in your personal affairs? You need to align yourself with the energy you are expecting from others, or you are going to end up in a failed relationship after failed relationship.

3. Be honest.

Be honest with yourself, not only about what you expect but also when things just aren’t working. If you are clinging to a person because you are lonely, but they keep giving you red flag after red flag, don’t lie to yourself.

4. Don’t rush.

When you meet someone, take things slowly. Do not rush to say “I love you” within days of meeting this person. Oftentimes, we rush our romantic relationships because we are anxious about our partner. If your partner makes you anxious- they are NOT the right one. If your partner rushes you to commit before you have a chance to get to know them, they are not the one. Take your time. The right person isn’t going anywhere.

5. Don’t sacrifice your own needs for the needs of others.

When dating, if the person you are dating calls you last minute to make plans, but you already have plans with family or friends, do not cancel. That might sound weird, but every time you put your needs last and also put valued people on the back burner, you are setting a precedent. It’s okay to assert healthy boundaries- actually, it’s advised, because that is a true test of where their mindset is at.

6. Love yourself.

As cliche as it may sound, you will not accept the love that you feel worthy of. So, if you don’t love yourself when someone tries to love you- you are going to unintentionally push them away. This can make things very difficult, so if you don’t love yourself, take some time to focus on that.

7. Get clear on what you do/don’t want.

How can you attract the right partner if you have no idea what you are willing to accept, and what you feel is a dealbreaker? For example, if you want kids one day, it would be silly to date someone who does not. That’s a dealbreaker.

8. Understand you deserve love.

If there is something that you feel is preventing you from being worthy of love – take some time to work on that. Everyone is worthy of love, but there are parts of ourselves that each of us needs to work on before we are willing to accept love. Figure out what that is and get to it.

9. Never stop working on yourself.

No matter what – continue working on yourself. Never assume you are done working on yourself because the next steps you take might be exactly what aligns you with the right person.

10. Don’t be desperate.

No matter how much you want to be loved, please do not be desperate. If you come off as desperate, you are going to attract all of the wrong people, who only intend to take advantage.