Sure, love is one of the most sporadic and wild things we can experience as we grow up and when we’re teens it makes us feel like we’re unstoppable but there’s more to it than that. When you’re falling in love as an adult, everything is unique in its own ways.

The love I have now that I am older is a million times more pure and ‘real’ than the loves I’ve had before. Thinking back to my first love things are so much better now. Because when we are adults we are mature and able to see things from outside perspectives we are all in better places when it comes to falling for one another.

As we change so does the love we look for in others. Below you will find a list of some of the differences I’ve noticed as I’ve aged myself. How many of these are present in your life?

10 Ways Falling In Love As You Grow Older Is ‘Different’:

1. You don’t just search for love for the sake of being with someone.

While you might still want to find love you don’t just go around trying to find it in every single person you meet. Rather than being eager to fall in love and settle down, you have other things on your mind. When you find it, it’s special and not as hormone-driven as it is when you’re younger.

2. You actually appreciate the person and see them for who they are.

When you’re older and falling in love you actually come to see the person for who they are rather than who you thought they were or who you expected them to be. For some reason when we’re younger looks play a much bigger role in things than they do as we age. You really get to see a person for who they are above all else and learn to appreciate that as you fall for them when you’re older.

3. You are much better with boundaries as an adult.

When we become adults we also learn how to enforce boundaries more properly. Rather than allowing our partners to walk all over us or twist things around, we place our feet on proper ground. This is one of the most important things on this list, to be completely honest.

4. You’re much better at communicating as an adult.

Sure, it might seem like you communicate well when you’re younger but as you grow and experience life for what it truly is you also find that communication is a very complicated thing. The older we get the better we become at it and the more capable we are to sit down and talk things out. Dating is full of ups and downs, communication is extremely important.

5. You’re aware of what actually matters in life.

When we grow older we learn lessons in life that as children or teens we never would have imagined. We become aware of how important it is to build connections and how truly evil some of the people in this world can be. We become better versions of ourselves and are able to really come to terms with the things that are actually important to us.

6. You actually take time to get to know the person.

As we grow older we also learn how important it is to get to know someone. We don’t just fall in love because someone is beautiful, we get to know everything about them and really come to understand who they are and what we like about them. Things aren’t as surface level as they have been or were in the past.

7. You actually have experience and know what you want/don’t want in love.

When you fall in love at an older age you are much more experienced and have gone through ups and downs with others. You know what you want and what you shouldn’t bother wasting your time on. Rather than looking for a mere spark, you try to find someone with goals and values that match yours so you can continue to grow within the relationship as well.

8. You’re not stuck trying to find yourself all the while trying to express your love.

As we grow older we work to find ourselves in all the ways we need to and from there finding love is much easier. The love we find at this point is deeper and so much more meaningful. It all stems from being able to love ourselves and then find the love we need in another person.

9. You don’t just deal with toxic traits for the sake of finding love.

When we are younger we are usually much more willing to stay with someone who doesn’t have our best interests in mind because we ‘love them.’ As we grow we learn that love isn’t what that person was trying to tell us it was in the first place. We realize just how false some relationships can end up being.

10. You understand that sometimes things just don’t work.

As an older person, you’re capable of coming to terms with your differences and leaving things as they are. Rather than forcing things to work when they won’t you know when to walk away. This, when we’re younger, is very hard to grasp.

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-healthy-relationships-always-have-boundaries-how-to-set-boundaries-in-yours/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-matters-most/201409/the-many-benefits-showing-appreciation

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conscious-communication/201709/communicating-mindfully-in-relationships

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