When you are dating a narcissist, there will be signs along the way- and a sneaking feeling in your gut that you simply cannot shake. But narcissists are a different breed and because of that, we often miss the most obvious signs of their toxic nature.
Narcissists are those who have a personality disorder referred to as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. They are self-obsessed, lacking in empathy, and have a dangerous and abusive nature when it comes to how they handle the people they love most.
Narcissists are geared towards a strange pattern of interpersonal behavior that is not only mind-boggling, but mentally exhausting. However, once you know and understand the undeniable signs of a narcissist, it is like glass shattering. And all at once, the misconceptions you held about this person are instantly gone.
If you are starting to wonder if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, check out the following signs. Just tread carefully, because once you see it, you cannot unsee it.
1. They violate your boundaries.
Narcissists don’t care too much for the boundaries of others. Their interest lies solely within themselves, and when it benefits them, to trample over your boundaries, don’t expect anything less. They don’t care about your need for space, and they don’t care about your feelings.
2. The throw tantrums.
Tantrums are normal for toddlers, but not so normal for adults. The worst part about a narcissistic tantrum is that it can come seemingly out of nowhere. One moment, they are fine and the slightest thing can set them off. They may throw things, call names, or even react in violence. If you are in a relationship and your partner becomes aggressive towards you- RUN. And don’t look back.
3. They go from full-on idealization to devaluation. And the cycles are exhausting.
Narcissists pull a very confusing move in which one moment they are seemingly the perfect loving partner. They love-bomb you and will do anything for you. In the next moment, you are the shittiest person that ever lived and are the worst thing that ever happened to them. They go between building you up and tearing you down, and they do this so when they are being awful, you will cling to the good things and in turn, they hope you won’t leave them.
4. They are conversation hogs.
A narcissist will hog the conversation and only pause when they are waiting for their turn to speak. Even then, they are likely to interrupt, because they truly don’t care to hear what you have to say.
5. They have no compassion or empathy.
During a fight or argument, you can try to explain how you feel until you are blue in the face, but this person will not understand. Without empathy, a person cannot put themselves in someone else’s position, so they don’t understand how you feel and honestly, they don’t care to.
6. They constantly pick on you.
They will hide this well at first- making means ‘jokes’ or comments, or saying things they know you don’t appreciate. They will do this in front of everyone to get a rise out of you, and once they get it, they will lash back “Can’t you take a joke?”
7. They are gaslighters.
Gaslighting is emotional abuse, plain and simple. And it is the absolute hallmark of narcissism. Narcissists will blatantly lie to your face and accuse you of being crazy for bringing up the reality of the situation. Their goal is to make you doubt your version of reality.
8. They don’t apologize.
They may occasionally say ‘sorry,’ but never for what. And they will downright refuse to take responsibility for any wrongdoing. The only time they say they are sorry is to get their way, not because they mean it.
9. They don’t like rejection.
Breaking up with a narcissist is a form of rejection in their eyes. In turn, they may completely shift their behaviors, begging for you to take them back. They will love to bomb you all over again until they can sink their teeth back in. And then it’s back to square one.
10. They are manipulative.
Narcissists will con you into doing things for them through guilt or persuasion. By whatever means necessary, they want to use you as an extension of themselves to accomplish what they want. “I do everything for you, and you can’t do this one thing for me?”