Having an overly critical parent can impact how you see yourself in a big way. While constructive criticism is one thing, the highly critical parent takes it to the level of emotional abuse.
As children, we want more than anything for our parents to love us and accept us. We simply want to be enough and to be a part of the pack. Unfortunately, when you have a parent who is always criticizing everything you do, making you feel as though no matter what you do, it is never enough, it can leave a lasting impact on your psyche. At the very least- it can change how you view yourself and even the world around you.
Here are 10 signs you were raised by a highly critical parent.
1. You are always apologizing.
When you grow up with an overly critical parent, you may find that your first instinct is to apologize. Even if you have done nothing wrong, you have likely been apologizing for so long for so many things that it just seems like that is what everyone expects of you.
2. You do not trust yourself.
Those who grew up under constant scrutiny will have a hard time trusting in themselves. You will always have a little nagging voice pop up in your mind telling you that you aren’t smart enough, or that you are capable enough.
3. You avoid risks at all costs.
When we are growing up, our self-esteem is developed when we feel competent and as though we are capable. Unfortunately, a critical parent will not make you feel as though you are competent. Instead, you will feel like you aren’t capable of much of anything, which can make it hard to believe in yourself enough to take risks.
4. Mistakes leave you shattered.
Highly critical parents make a huge deal out of the simplest mistakes. Even though everyone makes them (most certainly your highly-critical parent) you will be made to feel like every mistake you make defines you in a bad way. Due to this, even the simplest mistake will leave you feeling like a huge failure.
5. You are a perfectionist.
Perfectionism is a byproduct of being raised by overly critical parents. After so many times of being reprimanded, belittled, and torn apart, you will develop a coping mechanism to try to make everything perfect. Unfortunately, this will not serve you because A. perfection doesn’t exist, and B. nothing will ever be enough for someone who is as unhappy as an overly critical person.
6. You feel defensive a lot.
When you grow up under constant scrutiny, it can make you feel defensive. You will want to stand up for yourself, however, at times, you may feel like you are under attack by others (like you were with your parent) even when you are not.
7. You never feel like others like you.
It can be hard to trust whether anyone likes you when you were made to feel worthless your whole life. A critical parent will do just that: make you feel worthless. Due to this, you may always only see the worst in yourself. The thing is- we are ALWAYS much harder on ourselves than the people who truly care about us are.
8. Social situations make you anxious.
Having an overly critical inner voice as a result of having an overly critical parent can make social situations terrifying. You may always doubt how you came across, and feel as though you’ve done something wrong.
9. Your inner critic is cruel.
Our parent’s dialogue with us becomes our inner voice. If your parents were overly critical, chances are, so will you.
10. You are a major overthinker.
Overthinking is another by-product of constant criticism growing up. What happens, is that the child will create a coping skill to think everything through from a million angles to not disappoint their parent.