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Emotional intelligence is a rarity these days, and finding a man that is of high-emotional intelligence can be a daunting task. So, when you find one and the two of you have good chemistry- don’t let him go.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and handle your emotions. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have difficult emotions, it simply means that you understand your emotions and can work with them, rather than against them. Many of us, especially men are told that our emotions are wrong, or invalid. When this happens, it can make it hard to know what to do with emotions when they occur.

Thankfully, we live in a world of increasing growth and while not all of us are working towards growth, there are still men out there that are. If you meet a man that fits the following criteria, you’ve found a keeper.

1. They think about their feelings.

A man who talks about his feelings in a healthy and useful way is one who likely demonstrates emotional intelligence. Being able to recognize emotions may seem like common sense, but it isn’t common at all.

2. They stop before they react.

When he is emotionally upset or in a moment, he doesn’t react out of emotion. Instead, he takes a step back, thinks about the situation, and reacts once he is in a logical state of mind.

3. They ask you about your feelings.

He asks you how you are feeling and when he notices you seem upset or unnerved, he doesn’t hesitate to ask. He regularly asks where you stand with things.

4. They demonstrate compassion.

He shows compassion for everyone, and most definitely you. When you are upset or going through something, he is not only understanding but supportive.

5. They are honest.

You don’t have to worry about him lying, because he is very upfront about how he feels and what his intentions are. Because of that, you feel a new level of trust towards him.

6. They show empathy.

When someone else is going through something, he can easily tell how they feel and empathize with them. In turn, he is very understanding and supportive of others, even when he isn’t going through it himself.

7. They apologize.

When he is wrong, he knows it and accepts it. He doesn’t hesitate to say he is sorry or own up when he is wrong.

8. He has a healthy social life.

Outside your relationship, he has a healthy social life and friends. He doesn’t cling to you or crowd you, he wants the two of you to have your own lives, and the connection you have thrives.

9. He has a healthy relationship with his parents.

It may not be perfect, but he has boundaries with his parents and loves them. He makes sure to spend time with them, but he also has limits when it comes to them, and does not have a weird or unhealthy relationship with them.

10. He’s assertive.

He’s assertive and stands up for himself, without being too aggressive or overbearing. He doesn’t let other people run all over him, or vise versa.