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We live in a world where so much information is accessible, that most people (or many people) would consider themselves an expert. The problem is, anyone, can say they are an expert, especially when it comes to parenting, however, very few are.

If you are a parent, you’ve probably already been given more pieces of useless parenting advice that made you roll your eyes. I know I have. So it got me thinking: what are other pieces of advice that are being passed around but shouldn’t be? To be honest, I was shocked by some of these and shocked about how much BAD advice was floating around in the world. Here are the ones that stood out the most.

1. Don’t give them a treat if they haven’t finished their dinner.

While you may not want your child to live off junk, having a treat now and then is fine. However, teaching your child that they have to shove their mouths full of food (even that they aren’t entirely hungry for) before they can have a treat sends a bad message and cultivates bad eating habits. Keep dessert to a now and then treat and let it be a part of their dinner.

2. Make them share.

We’ve all heard it: if you don’t make your child share, they will be greedy. First and foremost, it’s just not in their development at an early age to understand sharing. And second of all, while sharing is nice, forcing them to is imposing on their boundaries. How would you like it if someone forced you to let someone borrow something of yours?

3. Rub whiskey on their gums to soothe a toothache.

I have heard this so many times, especially from older people. And while admittedly, whiskey has helped a toothache of mine, it isn’t a great option for a child for several reasons. A. it’s a controlled substance that does produce a high. B. alcohol burns SEVERELY before it numbs-which ultimately will traumatize your child. And C. IT’S ALCOHOL. Just buy some oragel or a teething ring.

4. Make sure they clean their plates.

Once upon a time, it was suggested to tell kids to clean their plates. Now, we realize that when we force kids to shovel down the food they are not hungry for, it destroys their ability to discern their hunger cues and thus destroys their relationship with food.

5. Sleep when the baby sleeps.

While it is true that sleep-deprived parents should sleep when they can, it’s also important to note that time is likely some of the only time they get. So, it’s reasonable to expect that they might want to take that time to catch up with a friend, pay their bills, or take a bath.

6. Too much affection will spoil your child.

First and foremost, babies NEED affection. Samantha Radford, Ph.D., and founded of Evidence-Based Mommy says, “Babies are biologically designed to be held and carried,” she says. “The kids who have the most separation anxiety aren’t the ones who are frequently held, but the ones who are told to tough it out.”

7. Don’t let little boys whine, it makes them weak.

Let’s just nip this in the bud now. Little boys have emotions, and when they whine, they aren’t being girly or weak, they are being human. They are trying to tell you they need something. Please do not listen to people who tell you to invalidate their emotions.

8. Spank your child, or they won’t learn how to respect others.

Spanking does not teach respect. Even the National Pediatric Association agrees and says that not only is spanking ineffective, it also damages the relationship between parent and child and destroys your child’s mental health.

9. Let them choose their activities.

If I let my child choose the activity every time, we would be painting the walls with finger paints and eating crackers all day long. And while I am sure he’d have a blast, no thanks.

10. Never let your kids see you fail.

I don’t understand this one. If your child never sees you fail, they will never see you overcome failure. And they will have an unrealistic view of what being an adult human is like. Now, I am not saying to share all of your experiences with your child, please exercise boundaries. But, don’t hide failure from them.