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In the intricate dance of conversation, a conversational narcissist leads with a carefully choreographed routine designed to keep the spotlight firmly on themselves. These individuals are adept at manipulating dialogue to maintain control and superiority in a discussion. Recognizing these phrases is the first step in reclaiming the conversation’s balance. Here are ten phrases that conversational narcissists often use:

  1. “Actually, it’s more like this…”
    • This phrase is a classic tool for a conversational narcissist, allowing them to assert their opinion as the most informed and correct.

    A helpful resource on this topic is Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People – and Break Free. It provides insights into identifying and dealing with gaslighting behaviors.

  2. “That reminds me of the time when I…”
    • Regardless of the topic at hand, a conversational narcissist will pivot the discussion back to themselves, often disregarding the original speaker’s point.
  3. “I disagree because…”
    • This phrase isn’t always negative, but in the hands of a narcissist, it’s used to constantly oppose others’ opinions, asserting their dominance in the conversation.

    For a deeper understanding of this behavior, consider reading The Art of Everyday Assertiveness: Speak Up. Set Boundaries. Say No. Take Back Control. Get What You Want.” This book offers practical advice on setting clear boundaries in conversations.

  4. “No one knows this better than me…”
    • A subtle way of undermining others’ experiences and knowledge, suggesting that their perspective is the most enlightened.
  5. “That’s nothing compared to what I…”
    • One-upmanship is a key tactic in the conversational narcissist’s arsenal, used to ensure they always appear more accomplished or experienced.
  6. “You wouldn’t understand…”
    • This phrase is patronizing and dismissive, implying that the speaker’s insights are beyond the grasp of others in the conversation.

    A helpful resource on this topic is Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People – and Break Free. It provides insights into identifying and dealing with gaslighting behaviors.

  7. “I’m just being honest…”
    • Often a preface to a rude or insensitive comment, this phrase is used to justify their bluntness and disregard for others’ feelings.
  8. “Let me finish…”
    • While it can be a legitimate request, narcissists use it predominantly to monopolize conversations and suppress others’ contributions.
  9. “As I already said…”
    • This phrase implies that others weren’t listening or are slow to understand, subtly demeaning their conversational partners.

    The Narcissist Next Door: Understanding the Monster in Your Family, in Your Office, in Your Bed—in Your World offers a comprehensive look into the mind of a narcissist, including their need for admiration and lack of empathy.

  10. “But the real issue is…”
    • Here, the conversational narcissist steers the discussion to suit their agenda or highlight their concerns, often disregarding the original topic.

Recognizing these phrases is crucial in dealing with a conversational narcissist. While it’s challenging to change their behavior, altering your response to these tactics can help maintain your composure and conversation’s equilibrium.

For more insights into dealing with conversational narcissists and improving your communication skills, consider checking out the following resources.