It’s one of the most taboo subjects in modern relationships: infidelity. And perhaps the most vilified figure in this triangle is “the other woman.” But behind every headline, judgment, and stereotype lies a deeper story — one of emotion, unmet needs, confusion, and sometimes, deliberate choices.
Why do some women knowingly sleep with married men? We asked real women — anonymously — and their answers reveal a surprising mix of heartbreak, psychology, and brutal honesty. What they shared isn’t about excuses — it’s about truth. And sometimes, the truth is more intense than fiction.
1. “He Made Me Feel Like I Was the Only Woman in the World.”
For some women, the attraction wasn’t just physical — it was emotional. Many admitted they were drawn in by how deeply the married man made them feel seen, desired, and valued.
“I had just come out of a toxic breakup and was emotionally wrecked. He gave me attention, listened to me, made me laugh. I knew he was married, and I hated that part. But the way he made me feel — I hadn’t felt that alive in years.” – Anonymous, 34
In these cases, it’s not about destroying someone’s marriage — it’s about escaping their own loneliness or emotional starvation. And that intense validation can become addictive.
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2. “I Thought He Was Going to Leave Her.”
One of the most common threads among these women? Hope. Many believed the married man was in a “loveless marriage,” separated, or on the verge of leaving — and they were just waiting for the right moment.
“He said they hadn’t slept together in over a year. He told me he slept on the couch, that he only stayed for the kids. I really believed I was his future.” – Anonymous, 29
Some men create emotional illusions to justify their cheating — and women, especially those looking for connection, may cling to the fantasy over the reality.
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3. “I Wanted Revenge — On Men.”
Not all women were passive participants. A smaller — but vocal — group admitted they slept with married men as a way of reclaiming power, often after being hurt or betrayed by men in their past.
“My ex-husband cheated on me with someone from his office. After that, I stopped believing in loyalty. I went through a phase where I wanted to be the person men ruined everything for.” – Anonymous, 41
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4. “It Was Never Supposed to Happen — But the Chemistry Was Insane.”
Sometimes, it wasn’t premeditated. Several women described being caught off guard — a moment of vulnerability, a few too many drinks, years of flirtation suddenly tipping into action.
“We had been working together for years. He was funny, smart, and we’d always had chemistry. One night after a company event, it just happened. I regretted it instantly, but we kept going back.” – Anonymous, 37
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5. “I Didn’t Respect His Marriage — Because He Didn’t.”
Some women admitted they didn’t feel bad about their involvement because the married man showed no respect for his vows. They viewed him — not the marriage — as the problem.
“If he was lying, cheating, and sneaking around, how strong could his marriage be? I wasn’t the one breaking anything. He was already broken.” – Anonymous, 26
This mindset speaks to a disconnect between moral responsibility and emotional reality. For those working through self-worth and boundaries, the Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab is an essential read for restoring emotional balance and self-respect.
6. “He Was Older, Powerful, and I Liked the Danger.”
A few women admitted they were drawn to the taboo itself. The thrill of secrecy, the pull of a forbidden connection, and the allure of being chosen by someone he wasn’t supposed to choose created a kind of emotional high.
“It wasn’t love. It was ego. I felt wanted. Special. I knew he was never going to leave her. But there was something about being ‘the escape’ that gave me power.” – Anonymous, 31
To explore deeper patterns of relationship addiction or thrill-seeking, The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg breaks down why some of us are drawn to unavailable or dangerous partners — and how to stop.
7. “I Was Young, Lonely, and He Made All the Moves.”
Some women reflected on their experiences with regret, noting how manipulation and power imbalances shaped their decisions.
“I was 22, working my first job out of college. He was 40, married, successful, and charming. Looking back, I can see how he groomed me. At the time, I thought I was in control. I wasn’t.” – Anonymous, 35
These stories remind us that not all affairs are rooted in empowerment — some are built on imbalance, manipulation, and emotional vulnerability.
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The Aftermath: Guilt, Growth, and Hard Lessons
Most women admitted that the experience ultimately left them with conflicted emotions: guilt, sadness, anger, or disappointment. But many also said it led to deep personal growth and a clearer understanding of what they wanted — and deserved.
“It taught me what I was willing to settle for — and what I never would again.”
“I learned that someone who cheats on their wife can, and will, cheat on you.”
“The secrecy nearly destroyed me. I lost friends. I lost myself.”
Final Thoughts: Behind Every Affair Is a Story
It’s easy to cast judgment — but every relationship, and every person, is complex. The reasons women sleep with married men aren’t always rooted in malice. Often, they’re rooted in loneliness, confusion, emotional vulnerability, and unmet needs — just like the men they get involved with.
That doesn’t mean these choices are justified. But understanding them opens the door to empathy, healing, and deeper awareness — both for those who’ve been “the other woman” and for anyone trying to understand the psychology behind infidelity.
If you’ve been in a situation like this — or are recovering from one — the most powerful thing you can do is choose truth, choose growth, and choose yourself.
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P.S. The reason so many men “pull away” from women is because
women don’t understand this naughty secret about men. . .
